(Closed) Bridesmaid dropout, should she be invited to wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should Bridesmaid B be invited to the wedding?

    Yes

    No

    Other (explain below)

  • Post # 46
    Member
    238 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @ManciasToBe:

    I would send the invite, it’s on her now if she want to attend or not.

    Post # 47
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @ManciasToBe:OMG.. i just had the SAME thing happen to me!!!!!  I asked about the price and everything.. BUT my girl didn’t take the time to get measured and complained about the price.. SO b/c i couldnt’ trust her.. i told her it was too late to order.  WE had to have the dress ordered by Wednesday and she hadn’t call the dress shop by 4pm!!! and she was the last maid.. so I got rid of my problem.

    I say that you are better off without her being in your wedding.  True friends will be by your side and the wanna bees will be on the side lines. I say take the high road and invite her.. but don’t ruin your day or shead another tear over her.. it’s about you and your Fiance.. and move on. I had to do the same and I don’t feel bad about my decision either!

    Post # 48
    Member
    1630 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I have never heard of BM’s paying for their own bouquets…

    I say don’t invite her. SCREW her!!!! She is not worth your time

    Post # 49
    Member
    1099 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

      I did have to go back and re-read the costs. It does seem odd to me with the flowers, but it seems like it’s common in your area. Even if it wasn’t, I would much rather pay $50 for my flowers than for my hotel room for two nights–that is very generous!

      Has your friend ever been a bridesmaid before? Maybe she was surprised by how much it actually costs. That’s how I was when I was a bridesmaid for the first time. I had factored in paying for the dress, shoes, and a gift, but I never thought about a shower, bachelorette party, shoes, hair…all those little things! In the first wedding, a friend of ours was also a bridesmaid and she complained about EVERY LITTLE THING. My friend wished she wouldn’t have had her in the wedding. The complaining definitely got to be annoying!

      Anyways, from what you have said, it sounds like costs are reasonable. I would still try to sit down and talk with your friend, face to face, or over the phone, if F2F isn’t possible. Has this person been a good friend otherwise?

     

    Post # 50
    Member
    7039 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’ve never in my life heard of a bride asking a bridesmaid to pay for their bouquet. I’m also a little put off by the fact that you replaced her so quickly – were your bridesmaids more about headcount, or about close and personal relationships that you wanted honored??

    As for your original question, if you feel the relationship is lost, do not send an invite. If you feel it is salvagable, definitely send one.

    Post # 51
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    Where does she get the $600 from?  Easy — helping to pay for your bridal shower, buying your shower gift, helping to pay for your bachelorette, buying your wedding gift.  If she were simply a guest, she would only be buying two gifts, not shelling out for everything else (shower/bachelorette/dress for wedding). 

    She IS doing you a favour by being in your wedding and spending her cash on a dress she’ll probably never wear again (along with parties that don’t benefit her).

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It’s very generous of you to pay for their accomodations and work with them on the dress cost, not to mention all their food. I think it makes paying for their bouquets a non-issue. I would still invite her and let her decide if she wants to salvage the friendship. Unless it’s a friendship you don’t want to salvage.

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