- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Please help and give me some advice!!
My chief bridesmaid is due to give birth 5 weeks before our wedding to her second child.
I asked her before she started trying for a baby. I had a baby last november (she is 15 weeks and gorgeous) so i totally understand what this means and how busy she will be.
This has not been a problem however she is starting to really bug me!!!!
She is always talking about how she will look in her dress and how she really wants her hair and makeup done as she doesnt want anyone looking at her body.
I am really really really trying to accomodate her situation but she is making it nearly impossible. We have only just booked the wedding as we had to wait until things had settled down with our little one so i have 6 months to arrange a wedding with a baby myself!!
She is due end of July and the only dates we could get for our venue were either aug or september. I really wanted aug but thought that it would be too close to her giving birth so went for september as her friendship and attendance is really important to me.
Also her husband is an usher and 3 yr old daughter is a flowergirl so i asked if she would like me to invite her mum and dad to the wedding to help with children and new baby – again to try and make it easier for her. I feel like whenever i am making a decision for the wedding i think about how this is going to effect her first!!!!!!
The problem has come with trying to organise my hen doo ( i am sure that she should be doing it?!?!?) I thought about going away for the weekend just in this country and nothing major just a nice house/cottage, dinner on fri night, spa or shopping in the sat and then drinks and club on sat night and go hme sunday.
I then thought that this might be a bit too much for her and to be honest we would have to do it in May which is far too soon for me to sort with a little one and 3 months before my wedding!!!! So decided to stay at home and ask my other half to take little one for the weekend and dinner on fri night, races – ladies day on the sat and then a spa on the sunday but so it is really local to her and she can do all or just the meal on the fri. and i decided to do this in august. My CBM then texted me to say that she wont be able to do any of it and to arange it myself not including her?!?!?! I texted back explaining that i thought it ould be easier this way and she told me to stop texting her and that we will talk about it face to face.
Then there is the dress issue as well?!? Its endless
I feel like a complete idiot that i am trying to arrange my wedding around her and her situation so she and her family are as comfortable as possible but i am completely forgetting about myself.
I am really worried that we will fall out beyond repair. I never had the conversation with her when she told me she was pregnant whether she still wanted to go ahead with the role or thought it might be a bit much.
My Fiance thinks that i should just be thinking about us, which i totally agree with.
My CBM wants to talk tomorrow and i really want to tell her how i feel and what measures i have taken so far to ensure that they are ok as i dont think she understands this. I also want to give her an out if she really wants it.
All the ideas i had for the hen she poo-poo’d and has made no suggestions at all. I have asked for her to help me find a solution but so far nothing.
Can someone please help me with how to deal with this as i dont want to lose her as a friend but also i dont want someone as my CBM who hasnt done anything to help and has been really obstructive when trying to arrange stuff.
(sorry for blabbing on but feeling very very emotional about this)