Post # 1
Hey, are y’all making your bridesmaids and maid of honors have duties? I know there is a list of usual duties for them… but are you doing that? I don’t think I’m going to tell my attendants what they need to do. I really just want them to show up at the wedding and have fun with me. Plus, most of them are out of town, so I don’t really expect them to plan anything for me or help me organize.
I guess I should also say that I don’t have much planning to do at all. Do you think my attendants will get mad at me if I don’t ask them to help plan? We already picked out the dresses, and that is something I let them in on. But everything else has just been me, my mom, or my fiance.
Post # 3
i dont know about this. im having a lot of first time bridesmaids, so i dont want them to be clueless, and i would love a bachelorette party and shower if they think of them, but i also don’t want to be demanding and spell out “duties” for them, ya know? i don’t know, i’m kind of torn. i probably won’t say anything.
Post # 4
I am making sure all of my bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor know what their duties are. The OCD in me comes out and I want to make them all to do lists- but at the same time, you’re right, they probably know what they should do already. However, most of my bridal party is in different states so it might be helpful to see when they are arriving and what they are willing to help with. My Mom and Future Mother-In-Law are planning my bridal shower- because my Maid/Matron of Honor is out of state.
It all depends on what the bridesmaids are able to do- and if you have everything sorted out- you will need them for support.
Post # 5
Yeah I’m the same. My little sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor, and she’s got a hectic life already, and the rest of my bridesmaids are far away. I just want them to be there with me the day of the wedding…well, and the rehearsal hah. But I have friends around here who have volunteered to help if I ever need it (i.e. putting together invitations, etc). I’ve even basically planned the bachelorette party…we’re going to Nola for Jazz Fest, so it’s not really a bach party, but a girls weekend getaway hah. But I’m also a bit of a control freak, so I’m okay with doing most of the planning.
Post # 6
Thanks for the input!
@ossmith: Can you tell me what duties you are telling each person to do? I am curious about what bridesmaids are even told to do. Maybe that is why I’m not saying anything to them yet.
Post # 7
The only duties I could think of was for them to get a dress and show up for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. They are organizing a shower and bachelorette for me, but I never told them to.
I mostly just need their love and support and to stand with me on our wedding day. And my ladies have certainly come through!
My Maid/Matron of Honor came over and helped me stuff the invitations- it’s kind of a tradition since we did the same together for her wedding.
Post # 8
My best friend’s wedding is in 5 weeks (ahhh!) and about a month ago she called to talk about a responsibilities list she was putting together for me (MOH), the bridesmaids, Best Man, Groomsmen, etc. She sent me the list she wrote and we changed and added some things. Here is what my list of duties includes (though I’m sure there will be more, lol): plan bachelorette party, record gifts at the bridal shower, help assemble wedding favors, be in charge of the other bridesmaids, handle any wedding day emergencies, help Bride dress, hold grooms ring during the ceremony, sign the wedding certificate as a witness, be the “go-to” person during the reception, make toast at reception, dance. I’m a long distance Maid/Matron of Honor, but I also shopped for bridesmaid dresses, gave opinions on the bride’s hair piece, co-hosted the bridal shower, and will be there for 2 weeks before the wedding helping out.
The bridesmaid responsibilities included: help Maid/Matron of Honor plan the bachelorette party, help with wedding favors & other decorations, help Bride dress, run errands as needed by bride or Maid/Matron of Honor, dance @ the reception, take wedding dress and gifts home (the wedding is 2 hours from where bride and groom live)
I’d suggest talking with your bridesmaids about what they’ll be able to/want to help you with before the wedding, and I’d discuss responsibilities for the day-of.
Post # 9
My wedding is nine months away and I have one bridesmaid begging me for something to do and others not even worrying about it. I think it depends on their personalities, some people just love to be helpful and others don’t even think of it. On the day of the wedding everyone will have a few responsiblities because I won’t have a DOC.
Post # 10
@klutzzy128: Marking this thread because your list of duties was helpful!