(Closed) Bridesmaid Etiquette Help Needed Please

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The bridesmaid thing can be as stressful as you let it. It sounds like you already have one strike against you, in that you’ve picked quite a cast of characters for your bridal party.  

My advice on the dress would be, since you’re paying for the dresses (uncommon here in the US but perfectly normal elsewhere), only shop in your price range, and have some idea of what your ladies will be trying on before you go to the shops.  No one should be trying on a 200-quid dress if you can’t afford to put it on each one of them.  You’re the bride so you’re supposed to set these rules.  If you can find a style you like that fits with your overall wedding, and it’s off the rack, then who cares?  Buy it off the rack.  Look into some of the Chinese designer knock-off studios– there’s tons of writeups on this site– you can save some money that way.

Shoes and bags are optional for you and if you’re okay with the ladies not matching shoes or bags, then pick a basic style that everyone already has, and go with it. No one is going to notice or care what your bridesmaids have on their feet. Don’t create extra stress or expense for yourself.

Gifts are customary although the price range depends on the bride; I think 200GBP for a bridesmaid gift might be overly generous though.  

As for the hen night, you have to let that go, and just accept whatever the MoH plans for you as graciously as you can. That may mean you end up running around town with flying penises in your hair— which would mortify me— but when someone else plans your party, you kind of have to take what you can get.  You’d be okay to give a very short list of things you do or do not want– by short I mean 3 or 4 items, total, so that your Maid/Matron of Honor has some boundaries. But then you just have to sit still and let her do her thing.

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