Bridesmaid expenses out of control?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
1258 posts
Bumble bee

Are you sure it’s the bride requesting all of this and not something that the other bridesmaids decided on themselves?

Post # 17
70 posts
Worker bee

You definitely shouldn’t be responsible for buying your own dinner at the rehearsal. I would talk to your cousin and let her know that it’s just too expensive for you, with your travel costs and extras like the international shipping for your dress, and you’ll be at the rehearsal but not at the dinner. For the spa day, call the spa and ask if you can just get your hair done and not nails/facial too. I’m sure it is a package, but getting just your hair done is probably SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper

Post # 18
238 posts
Helper bee

I think the dress is standard, that’s similar to what I’ve paid for weddings I’ve been in. The hotel is pricey but again somewhat the normal around here, the hotel for my wedding starts at $225/night. 

I’ve never heard of anyone asking for money for the rehearsal dinner, that’s insane.

The weddings I’ve been in the bride has picked up the cost for our hair and then we have had the option to pay for our own make up (usually around $40), I always opt to have mine done as have the rest of the party (I’ve been in 3 weddings). So I think $200 is a bit much to expect people to do. I agree it’s a decent deal for all of those items but I think the bride should have picked up part if not all of that, especially if it’s a requirement and not optional.

Post # 19
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

pebbletots :  


The dress sounds like its of average price. My bridesmaids paid $180. I was in a friends recently and I paid $300.

Rehearsal Dinner: You should not paying for this. This is typically the Grooms Family’s responsibility. and they the grooms family doesnt pay its up to the Bride and Groom not you.

Hotel: It sounds a little pricey but not insane for US.

Spa Day: I would say you cant afford it and leave it at that.

Rent a car: I would tell them no I dont need it.

Post # 20
1299 posts
Bumble bee

kittytwo :  I disagree.  Never have I seen the bridesmaids pay for the rehearsal dinner and for their own hair and makeup if the bride is inisiting they have those things professionally done.  I’m in the US so paying for the dress is completely normal.

Post # 21
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

pebbletots :  She is crazy and should be ashamed of herself! 

The rehearsal dinner should be hosted by her/FI or their parents. I don’t understand why she needs a spa day to get ready, if she wants that she should pay for it! All you should have to pay for is your dress (since it is not in her budget), airline ticket, and hotel (unless you decide to stay with family). 

That other stuff is ridiculous! smh!

Post # 22
6836 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You have to pay for your own meal at the rehearsal dinner?!?! Well that’s a new one… The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be an extra thank you to your friends and family for taking the time and money to stand by your side on your wedding day. 

No way I’d be okay with this. 

Post # 23
2734 posts
Sugar bee

Wowwww-this is horrible!! The only things you should be expected to pay for are: your flight, your accomodations while there, your food/own entertainment while there that YOU choose, and your dress/shoes for the wedding!!!

Everything else should be optional. You should have the option to go to the spa day if YOU want. You should have the option of doing your hair/makeup on your own if YOU want. And by no means should you be paying for your food at the rehearsal dinner!!!!

I’d talk to the bride, let her know these things are over budget for you, but you will still be there on her big day. If that is a problem for her, and she says you have to do the other things, I’d seriously consider dropping out.

Post # 24
497 posts
Helper bee

These prices are ridiculous. I couldn’t afford to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 25
6626 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

pebbletots :  These prices are outrageous – I don’t know why anyone thinks they are remotely acceptable. I’ve never in my life spent 200 on a hotel room, even in a city.  I may be cheap, but I think you should get to pick where you stay, not be told.  The dinner is above and beyond rude – it’s supposed to be thanking the bridal party and therefore you shouldn’t be charged!  And general consensus is that the bride pays for hair/makeup if she’s demanding it.

And on top of that you’re flying in from Europe? And unemployed?  I’d step down, tell her the cost is beyond your expectations and you are happy to attend as a guest.  If she can’t handle that given your situation, she’s a bitch, quite honestly, cousin or not.

Post # 26
9 posts

pebbletots :  Tell the bride she should use Bridesmaids Newsletters! It helps to keep the bridesmaids informed and “in-the-know,” Not only do they help the bride stay on track but they help the bridesmaids feel connected to you and the wedding!

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