(Closed) Bridesmaid Feeling Rejected by Bride

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

She doesn’t sound like a very good friend…but if you two were close before, maybe she’s just stressed? Still, it doesn’t excuse her behavior. She is being horrible to you.

Post # 4
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I’ll say it.  Your friend sounds delusional.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

wow she’s being a bitch.

weddings are stressful. i would try to have a heart to heart with her and reaffirm that you won’t be dodging your bm duties as long as she treats you like a friend. let her air her fears about your pregnancy corresponding with her wedding (maybe she wanted a really wild bachelorette? maybe she’s scared you won’t be able to make it to her wedding?)

if she won’t change, i would probably step down as a bm. however, if you choose to step down, it might kill your friendship (although she’s doing a pretty good job of that herself it sounds).

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Its the emotions.  There have been posts on here that I swear your friend could have written about how the spot light is being stolen because someone is pregnant, engaged, eloped, divorced, etc during “their time”.

Sit her down and tell her that “I am really glad to be a part of your wedding and I want you to be the center of attention on your day and to really enjoy the process. If you are not happy with me being a part of it then tell me.”  Address the elephant in the room, but nicely. She may not realize how bad she is being or how obvious. Being called out on it and forced to make a decision will make her think about her actions and what she really wants.

Post # 7
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

True friends enjoy each other’s happy moments in life. You deserve to enjoy your time during your pregnancy, just as she deserves hers as she is getting married. If she cannot deal with your blessing during the time of hers, then that is something she needs to deal with from within. Have a sitdown conversation with her to clear the air about how she is making you feel, and see where it goes. You don’t need to get stressed about her pettiness…not good for the little one…if she continues to act like an ass, bow out gracefully with class, like a lady…

Post # 8
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow. She is behaving completely unacceptably. I cannot believe people sometimes!  If you value the relationship, I would have her over for coffee and talk about how it’s all made you feel, that you love her but that she’s really been hurting you with her comments.

Post # 9
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You call this girl a friend?! I would opt out of the wedding and can her!

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I mean while I can sort of sympathize with your friend since two of my BM’s were pregnant and there were I think 4 pregnant guests at our wedding and everything was about them during my planning, I think your friend has lost sight of what’s important. Everyone is human and acts irrational at times, so speaking from experience I encourage you to wait it out and try to let the comments bounce off of you in the meanwhile. Hopefully she will come to and realize how crazy she is being, but if she doesn’t, unfortunately you might have 1 less guest at your baby shower 🙁

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow… she is WAY out of line.

I’d have a heart to heart with her. Offer to step down from the Bridesmaid or Best Man position and just be a guest if she’s uncomfortable with your pregnancy.

Tell her you are there to help with whatever she needs and would be happy to help silently (i.e. not stand up with her as a bridesmaid).

Sounds like you’ve already gone way above and beyond and she’s being totally unrealistic and a brat.

Post # 12
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is all on her. That is very unfair for you for her to be acting this way. I would sit her down and explain how you are feeling and see how she reacts if she is your best friend she will apologize and talk things out if shes not understanding then I would walk away from the wedding. I’m sorry this is happening it is such an exciting time for you as well and you should be able to celebrate no matter what is going on in your friends lives.

Post # 13
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I can’t believe someone who is supposed to be your “friend” threatens other friends that want to throw you a baby shower. For her wedding she get 1 day, not everyday leading up to it. I would sit her down and tell her how she’s making you feel and that the way she is acting isn’t very much like a friend (she’s seriously jealous of an unborn baby getting things at a shower…pathetic). I would tell her again that your pregnancy will not interfer with her wedding DAY and if she doesn’t think she can start acting like a friend you should step down from being in the wedding and also away from the friendship, you don’t need toxic people in your life during this magical time.

Post # 14
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Please do not put this on yourself. I have been stressed out and emotional but there are going to be more important days in her life than her wedding. This is not “her time” the day of. That’s hers. Months leading up to it? That’s anyone’s game. She is being ridiculous. I would confront her in a sensitive and careful way like some people have said before. If she doesn’t come around, then this is just her true colors showing I guess. Good luck, and congratulations on your pregnancy! 

Post # 15
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

At some point, the friendship is not even worth it.  and to me, this would be that point.  your friends are suppose to be happy and supportive for you at this time, just like you are for her.  it shouldn’t be a competition for attention.

i think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart about how this all makes you feel, and from there decide how much more you can really put up with. 

Post # 16
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

She has made several offhanded remarks about how I should continue working out so I don’t look “so fat” in her wedding pictures, and even told me, “if you’re sick on my wedding day, don’t bother showing up.”

Wow. I’m speechless. Like the old saying, with friends like this, who needs enemies?

The topic ‘Bridesmaid Feeling Rejected by Bride’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors