Post # 1
Hey ladies! (and the occasional gent)
I am in a wedding as a bridesmaid tomorrow for the first time ever, and I was wondering if any of you have some tips or advice that would come in handy. I’m a novice to this whole situation, and I want to make sure I can be super positive for the bride.
We have had a strained relationship over the past few years, and I’m not entirely sure I would have been asked to be in the wedding party if I wasn’t marrying her Brother.
All past negative feelings aside, I really want to be there for her and I’m going to try and give a really nice toast at the rehearsal tonight as a gesture of my happiness for her…even though we don’t always see eye to eye. Anything you gals could offer up for advice would be welcomed. Thanks!
Post # 3
@MrsCarnival: Be ready to say something…just in case. Offer to help. Have fun!
Post # 4
I see you are in MN, does the bride have a personal attendent, since that seems like the norm for MN. If she does you really don’t need to do much other than show up and smile and stand up for her.
Post # 5
help where you can, and try not to ask the bride any questions!
Post # 7
@Sassygrn: She does have a personal attendant, but I was thinking more along the lines of just general conduct and any other expectations other than timeliness and looking pretty:) We’ve just bee nstruggling lately, and I want her to feel like she made the right decision by asking me to stand with her.
Post # 8
@kitzy: Not asking any questions is probably pretty good advice:) I will be sure to get my info from other sources hehehe.
Post # 9
A few suggestions from a multi-time Bridesmaid or Best Man. I always hate when the other BM’s do nothing or act like the day is about them.
Ask if she needs anything, don’t treat her like a baby but be the one to ask, “Need a drink? Need me to carry that for you? Need help with the door?” Anything she doesn’t have to do and may not want to ask for help with should be offered. Make yourself available.
Bring Snacks! It’s amazing how hungry people can realize they might be just before the wedding. Also anything you’d want on hand as a bride. IE. tampons, pins, spray, etc. Just because you remember doesn’t mean someone else will/did.
Tell her how amazing she looks! Glowing, beautiful, flawless! I don’t care if you hate her you should act like the very sight of her brings tears to your eyes, lol.
Obviously nothing is really expected but these are things that could make her day a little better and possibly get you back on better terms.
Post # 10
I was in this istuation last year… I am enaged to her brother but she and I are… on again off again. I smiled and tried to helpful where I was allowed. my little tip: bring something to do! there are more down times in all the wedding preperations than people think about and it helped to keep stress down to eilimante the “wait time” all I did was throw a deck of cards in my purse. simple. just remember how you woudl like her to treat you on your wedding day and then do that.
it is all about the minnesota nice lol.
Post # 11
@MrsPinkPeony: Snacks, emergency kit, and small favors sound like good ideas as well. I know you didn’t imply this, but I certainly don’t hate her….it’s an odd thing where we just tend to butt heads and I want her to know that I care, even if we have our tense moments. Thank you:)
@kryje003: “On again off again,” is a really good way to describe our relationship. Things can get a little tense, and she doesn’t handle stress very well so sometimes I struggle with that aspect of her personality. I might bring a deck of cards, and the whole “treat others the way you would like to be treated” is right on. Thanks for the advice! Nice to see the MN ladies representing today!
Post # 12
I have been a bridesmaid over 10 times and I have learned to have the following things with you for the bride or other family members:
- Bobby Pins, Hairspray, Shine Spray
- Safety Pins, Extra earring backs,
- Tape, Sissors, tweezers
- Lotion, body spray, perfume, sunblock/bug spray if needed, deodorant
- chapstick, lipgloss
- candy (bride flowergirl/ring bearer down the aisle), snacks, water
- washcloth (for when deodorant gets on the dress)
- mouthwash, Tide pen, shout wipes
- Advil, allergy medicine, immodium AD
Just stick all this stuff in a bag and carry it around, it truely is a life saver at weddings! I made this little kit the first wedding I was in, have used it at every one since! Added things to it, but it’s great to be prepared!
Also, make sure not to smoother the bride she is getting pulled from several directions that day, just do everyone in your power to keep her calm and happy. Hope this helps, and be sure to just have fun!