- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Hey bees! Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, I’m seriously torn! I have two half-sisters and a Future Sister-In-Law, and I don’t know who to make my bridesmaid. My half-sisters are significantly (well over a decade) older than me; the younger lives a county away (about an hour or so), the other lives half the country away (about 5 hours of flying). I apologize in advance for the length!
To make a long story short-ish, before my Fiance proposed I drunkenly told all three ladies I would like them to be in my wedding party – the sisters at the same time and the Future Sister-In-Law at another time. They were all plowed too.
Picking the Maid/Matron of Honor was easy, the younger sister who lives close by I am close to. Fiance has decided he wants two people to stand with him. I agree with the number. Who should be my second?
My oldest sister is a natural choice…BUT her and I were never really close. We get along fine, she’s a pleasant enough person. But to be honest, she hasn’t called, emailed, Facebooked, texted…NOTHING since I got engaged at the end of February. I texted her the news since it was late where she was, and she said “Congratulations! I’m drunk out with friends!” Nothing since except maybe a “like” on Facebook. That’s fine, she’s busy too, but it kind of hurts a little. She’s always been like this though; she never calls/emails/ecards at my birthday or does anything really for any holiday except sends out the same gifts to everyone at Christmas (so it’s not personal to me, and my mom confirms it’s the same with her too). We have a nice time together, but otherwise don’t really have contact until she visits town. Fiance votes “no”.
My Future Sister-In-Law, on the other hand, I’ve not hung out with a ton of times, but we’ve had fun every time. She’s a very nice and “boisterous” person and lives very close by. Most importantly, she’s called, texted, attended bridal gown shopping even though her sons were playing a tournament (I was suprised and so happy and touched she did that, and she really inconvenienced herself doing it), and she’s been vocal about wanting to help and has been very enthusiastic. She would probably be my first choice.
Another choice would be my longtime (oldest) friend. Fiance thinks it’s a bad idea because her and I fall out of contact and re-connecting seems to be mostly a wedding thing, but hey…it’s neutral and more justifiable (“Oh I wanted my oldest friend to stand next to me”) BUT as Fiance points out, her and I go in and out of communicating (never really fighting, just taking “time off”). On the plus side, she also has been super enthusiastic…from several states away. But she even offered to fly down for whatever I needed. That said, I wouldn’t call her a “best” friend.
Anyhoo, I really don’t want to hurt my sister and be a giant jerk, but I kind of would rather stand next to Future Sister-In-Law…or even my friend…and have someone involved who is really stoked. She doesn’t seem like the type to get sensitive about this, but…I do, so I’m treading lightly. And I don’t want to be a d-bag.
On top of it, Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law keep asking about bridesmaids…and I wonder if that’s a hint! Fiance says no, I think it might be!
I could have all three sisters in my bridal party, but I like the number two better, so I’d really rather not.
Thoughts bees? Thanks!
ETA: I was the flower girl at my oldest sister’s wedding, and a bridesmaid at the younger’s.