(Closed) Bridesmaid getting a divorce

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would just try to keep the wedding talk to a minimum and only when necessary, like when she needs to order a dress, etc

Post # 4
3942 posts
Honey bee

@Jacqui90:  This. Talk about the details that matter to her (her dress, timeline, etc) and only talk about all the other fun stuff if she brings it up.

Post # 5
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Was the decision to divorce hers?

My Maid/Matron of Honor left her husband in February, and while there’s certainly been some tears and stress about it (he’s said some terrible things to her while negotiating their settlement), she happier now than I’ve ever seen her.  I’ve never got the sense that the breakup of her own marriage has made her any less happy for mine, in fact we’ve even joked that my “something borrowed” shouldn’t be anything from her.

Be there to listen to her and support her, and most of all, make her laugh when you can.  Your wedding is a ways off, so perhaps, since she’s not your Maid/Matron of Honor, try to keep your wedding planning discussions with her to a minimum if it’s something you think she’ll be sensitive about.

Post # 6
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When I was going through my divorce, I wanted everyone to remain as normal as possible.  I really hated the feeling that people were tiptoeing around me or avoiding happy topics because they felt sorry for me or didn’t want to upset me.

You could just ask her if she’s uncomfortable with the topic or let her know that you’d like to be sensitive to her feelings.

Post # 7
650 posts
Busy bee

I think that since its so fresh I’d keep the wedding chat to a minimum but would discuss the basics with her like dress choice fittings etc because that is inevitable. Also try to be there for her if she needs to talk and try not to let her situation play on your mind too much and affect your upcoming wedding.

Post # 8
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would treat her as you normally would. She is going to need some sense of normalcy right now since her entire life is going to be changing. She may find that being kept busy could keep her mind off of things if the divorce wasn’t her idea and if it was, she is going to be happy to be starting her life anew.

Post # 9
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I honestly think she will feel much worse if she realizes or thinks you’re trying too hard to not mention your wedding plans around her.

What she needs is a friend and you need to be a good friend and ask her how she’s handling everything and make sure she knows you will be there for her if she ever needs to vent.

Post # 11
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@sportsgal31:  great advice.

OP-talking about your wedding may be a nice change from what your friend’s dealing with. You could say something like- “I want to respect that you’re dealing with a big change in your life, too-if I get to be too much with all the wedding stuff, let me know.”

Post # 12
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@NVACat:  sounds like she is pretty excited about starting a new life.  i would keep the wedding chatter to a minimum but involve her in everything.  let her set the tone.

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