(Closed) Bridesmaid getting married shortly after me and likes to talk about her wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I talk to my friend about not talking about her wedding at my wedding?
    yes : (21 votes)
    14 %
    no : (101 votes)
    67 %
    no it is too close to the wedding and you don't want the chance of starting a fight with her : (15 votes)
    10 %
    just pull her aside the wedding day if she is talking too much about her wedding : (13 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    313 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Yea, just talk to her. I’m sure she’s just super excited and doesn’t realize that she’s bothering you. Life is super simple sometimes and here it sounds like telling her is better than letting it continue to irk you.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    You cannot control what your friend talks about. And unless she’s being hurtful or malicious, you shouldn’t try.

    Post # 5
    Member
    822 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    i don’t think you should say anything.  she’s also planning a wedding while being in yours.  do you think it’s reasonable to let her talk about her wedding only after your wedding.  how would you feel if you were only allowed to talk about your wedding the 3 months before your wedding? although she should probabl refrain from talking about her wedding at your shower and bachelorette, she should be able to talk about her wedding more than 3 months prior to her own wedding. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i agree with both PP’s im sure she is super excited and she isnt aware that shes bothering you. and if its making you angry you can just talk to her and let her know how you feel, hoping she will get the hint.. but if its just bothering you a bit and you get over it in an hour, id say let it go.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Do you have a mutual friend or acquaintance that might be able to say something?  She doesn’t even have to be direct about it, just during the rehearsal or whatever the next event is, she could say something along the lines of it being “nicolemoon22’s day” or a time to focus on you or whatever.  I definitely don’t think you should say anything yourself.  Maybe she just needs a non-confrontational nudge though.

    One of my BMs got married last month and I stood up for her.  I tried to be really careful not to mention my wedding plans during her bachelorette, shower, and wedding weekend unless someone asked me directly about it or my friend mentioned it, and even then I kept the answers relatively short and tried to subtly work the conversation back around to my friend.  I just didn’t want her to feel like I was taking away from her excitement at all.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I don’t really see a problem here – you two have both got bridebrain. You shouldn’t be trying to control what your friend says and she shouldn’t be constantly talking about it BUT it sounds like you both have wedding tunnel vision right now. I suggest you don’t say anything and try to be supportive. Hopefully, she’ll do the same in turn. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    One of my best friends is getting married in October, and my wedding is in December. We talk to each other about our weddings all the time. I don’t think it’s weird and I would not take it personally. We both have fun with it.  It’s hard being in a wedding while planning your own.

    Is your friend a selfish, malicious,  or over the top “all eyes on me or else” type? If not, then you need to get over yourself and stop being so controlling. If she is, then have a chat.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    @sportsgal31:  Great idea about having another friend deflect.

    “Oh, come on bridesmaid, focus on the bride…we can talk about your wedding tomorrow after nicolemoon22’s- this is HER day.” Get someone kinda bossy and sassy (like me!) 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m not going to even read the other responses, one of my best friends and bridesmaid is getting married two weeks after me. She talks about her wedding a lot that’s because she is excited, I’m excited for her. I would never tell her to tone it down, but that’s me. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1508 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would have a close mutual friend on hand to mention it gently to her if she does this at the rehearsal dinner.

    “Hey, I know you are super excited for your wedding, but this is Friend’s weekend, so let’s focus on that!”

    That way you directly aren’t in the line of fire and someone else mentioning it should humble her.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @mightywombat:  cosigned by me!

    I’m sure she’s just excited and feels like you can relate because you both are getting married within such a short period of time.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t say anything.  It sounds like she’s just a talker.  I know people like that.  I would just change the subject if it gets to be too much.

    Post # 16
    Member
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Are you joking?  Are you really going to start dictating what people can talk about at your wedding? 

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid getting married shortly after me and likes to talk about her wedding.’ is closed to new replies.

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