Post # 1
I have a bridesmaid that is getting married 3 months after me. I just had my bridal shower. At the shower she talked about her wedding plans most of the time and even asked in front of the table she was sitting at if I would be able to go dress shopping for her wedding right after the shower. I told her I would call her when I finished saying bye to everyone. It’s pretty common sence I can’t just leave without saying by to everyone that came and that I need to get all these gifts home since my shower was in a private room at a restaurant. I feel like my shower should have been a day to celebrate me and not discuss and plan things for her wedding. With my wedding coming up I can she this happening again at the rehersal and wedding. I’m very happy for her I just would never talk about my wedding plans at any event unless someone put me on the spot about something wedding related which then I would answer and change the subject. Am I wrong about his? Should I talk to her about this? I had a couple of my friends sitting at the table bring this up to me and I could hear her most of the time. She is my most talkative and loudest friend and I don’t want her mad at me before the wedding.
Post # 3
Yea, just talk to her. I’m sure she’s just super excited and doesn’t realize that she’s bothering you. Life is super simple sometimes and here it sounds like telling her is better than letting it continue to irk you.
Post # 4
You cannot control what your friend talks about. And unless she’s being hurtful or malicious, you shouldn’t try.
Post # 5
i don’t think you should say anything. she’s also planning a wedding while being in yours. do you think it’s reasonable to let her talk about her wedding only after your wedding. how would you feel if you were only allowed to talk about your wedding the 3 months before your wedding? although she should probabl refrain from talking about her wedding at your shower and bachelorette, she should be able to talk about her wedding more than 3 months prior to her own wedding.
Post # 6
i agree with both PP’s im sure she is super excited and she isnt aware that shes bothering you. and if its making you angry you can just talk to her and let her know how you feel, hoping she will get the hint.. but if its just bothering you a bit and you get over it in an hour, id say let it go.
Post # 7
Do you have a mutual friend or acquaintance that might be able to say something? She doesn’t even have to be direct about it, just during the rehearsal or whatever the next event is, she could say something along the lines of it being “nicolemoon22’s day” or a time to focus on you or whatever. I definitely don’t think you should say anything yourself. Maybe she just needs a non-confrontational nudge though.
One of my BMs got married last month and I stood up for her. I tried to be really careful not to mention my wedding plans during her bachelorette, shower, and wedding weekend unless someone asked me directly about it or my friend mentioned it, and even then I kept the answers relatively short and tried to subtly work the conversation back around to my friend. I just didn’t want her to feel like I was taking away from her excitement at all.
Post # 8
I don’t really see a problem here – you two have both got bridebrain. You shouldn’t be trying to control what your friend says and she shouldn’t be constantly talking about it BUT it sounds like you both have wedding tunnel vision right now. I suggest you don’t say anything and try to be supportive. Hopefully, she’ll do the same in turn.
Post # 9
One of my best friends is getting married in October, and my wedding is in December. We talk to each other about our weddings all the time. I don’t think it’s weird and I would not take it personally. We both have fun with it. It’s hard being in a wedding while planning your own.
Is your friend a selfish, malicious, or over the top “all eyes on me or else” type? If not, then you need to get over yourself and stop being so controlling. If she is, then have a chat.
Post # 10
@nicolemoon22: Thank-you for the feedback. I’m very supportive of her and her wedding. When we talk about wedding planning we talk mostly about hers. It is just awkward for my other close friends that were not asked to be in her wedding that are close with her too. She really likes all the attention on her at all times and I have listened to mutual friends comment that she is self centered. She is not malicious, she just talks about herself a lot.
I have no problem with her discussing her wedding. I often talk with her about her wedding and am very excited for her. It just makes for an akward situation when she chooses to start a lengthy conversation about her wedding at inappropriate times, like at my wedding shower. I don’t want her to make my friends and family feel akward at my wedding by her continuously talking about her wedding, like she did at my shower.
Sportsgal31 I like your suggestion. I’m never one to have anything be about me. I’m kind of the opposite. I typically plan most of our get-togethers and keep the peace amoungt my friends.
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@sportsgal31: Great idea about having another friend deflect.
“Oh, come on bridesmaid, focus on the bride…we can talk about your wedding tomorrow after nicolemoon22’s- this is HER day.” Get someone kinda bossy and sassy (like me!) 🙂
Post # 12
I’m not going to even read the other responses, one of my best friends and bridesmaid is getting married two weeks after me. She talks about her wedding a lot that’s because she is excited, I’m excited for her. I would never tell her to tone it down, but that’s me.
Post # 13
I would have a close mutual friend on hand to mention it gently to her if she does this at the rehearsal dinner.
“Hey, I know you are super excited for your wedding, but this is Friend’s weekend, so let’s focus on that!”
That way you directly aren’t in the line of fire and someone else mentioning it should humble her.
Post # 14
@mightywombat: cosigned by me!
I’m sure she’s just excited and feels like you can relate because you both are getting married within such a short period of time.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t say anything. It sounds like she’s just a talker. I know people like that. I would just change the subject if it gets to be too much.
Post # 16
Are you joking? Are you really going to start dictating what people can talk about at your wedding?