(Closed) Bridesmaid gift etiquette? If giving bridesmaid "proposal" boxes?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

Bridesmaid proposal boxes are a nice gesture, but not a requirement. I would not count it as a bridesmaid gift, which is a (personalizedand not a wedding prop) gift thanking them for helping you on your big day. Would bath bombs, a wine tumbler, and a framed photo be the kind of thing you would give them for a birthday? If so, you could argue that you just have to get them something small and heartfelt for the wedding. If not … well, you might want to scrap the whole plan altogether.

 

Someone once sent me a bridesmaid box with lipstick and nailpolish in her wedding colors (bright purple and teal.) I didn’t like either and gave them to my roommate pretty much as soon as I opened the gift (never told the bride, of course, but neither was “me” AT ALL.)

Post # 3
Member
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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celese57 :  No, this is not a substitute for  thoughtful gift chosen for each bridesmaid’s personal taste and interests.

Post # 5
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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celese57 :  Wedding party gifts should really be given at rehearsal dinner or around that time, not when you ask them.. this gesture is cute however really not needed and if I were you I would spend the money on a more personal gift instead before wedding.

I mailed my girls cute cards asking them each even though we see each other every week I thought it would be sweet to mail a letter.

I am getting them gifts and giving it to them night before wedding at rehearsal dinner. Im putting a couple wedding things in there… which are of course not gifts as they are photos props but it will look all cute together and I also getting them nice personal gifts as well.

P.S unless your friends are actually really into this I would lose the tumbler.. most grown people I know do not use a plastic tumbler with their name on it

 

ETA: gifts are given as a thank you for all their time effort and support.. so I think it is premature to give this when you ask them and then nothing after.

Post # 6
Member
30388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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celese57 :  When you say ” a framed photo of us”, do you mean of you and the bridesmaid in question, or you and your FI? If it’s the former, I would include it in the box.

If budget is a concern, I would give them the photo  and the bath bomb now, the wine glass on the morning of, and use the bracelet for the traditional bridesmaid gift, presented at the rehearsal dinner ( as long as it is something classic that you know they will love, and they are not expected to wear it at your wedding).

Post # 7
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

These are two separate events.  I agree with Julies1949, if it isn’t in the budget, break up the gift.  

Post # 8
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

It’s just a cute thing. You still need to give them a real bridesmaid gift. I did the proposal box. Nothing in it was for the the wedding. Just “hey, will you be in my wedding? I love you!” gifts. 

Post # 9
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think I’m just adding to the chorus, but a proposal box is an extra. If you’re on a tight budget, just write them heartfelt notes asking them to be in the wedding, and hold onto the presents for later.

Also, it might be wise to hold off on deciding what to get them for presents at all until you know how much you’re asking them to spend on dresses, hotel, etc etc. It’s not a bad idea to take that into consideration when giving a thank you gift. 

Post # 11
Member
8367 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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celese57 :  A gift shortly before the wedding says “thanks for being a special friend during this special time.” A Bridesmaid or Best Man proposal box says “I want Likes on social media.”

Post # 12
Member
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

If I were a bridesmaid and the bride gave me a present when she asked and then, like, a handwritten card or letter at the rehearsal dinner, I’d be very touched and pleased. It’s bad etiquette to expect presents in the first place, so the idea of a bridesmaid being upset about WHEN she receives a gift is pretty wild to me. 

Post # 13
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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celese57 :  Personally, I would still get them a gift for the wedding. It doesn’t have to be expensive since you already spent a solid amount of money. But it would be nice to give them a gift that says “thanks for being here and for all of your help.” as opposed to a gift that says “you are my friend and I want you to be a part of this event.” Basically, you I don’t think you can get away with giving a “thank you” gift in advance. What about a small bottle of prosecco and a card on the day of?

Post # 14
Member
924 posts
Busy bee

Agree that this does not replace the bridesmaid gift given closer to the actual wedding.  I would (and did) send cute personalized dress cards that I found on etsy as a bridesmaid proposal instead of a box of goodies (though they are very cute).

Post # 15
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

I did bridesmaid boxes and I’m not doing bridesamid gifts for the wedding, BUT I am planning on paying for their dresses and paying for a cabin for the entire bridal party to stay in the night before and after the wedding. If I wasn’t doing those things I would probably get them all gifts, but it would most likely be something generic they could all use, like jewelry to wear in the wedding/after the wedding. 

I’ve been a bridesmaid twice and the first bride got us all jewelry and a little make-up tote, and the second did jewelry and a clutch purse. Neither were personalized but I was happy to get anything since it was an honor to stand with them for their wedding 🙂

Don’t overthink it, they are your friends. Thank them as appropriate with a gift of some sort, but don’t feel the need to have “uneek and speshul” ultra thoughtful personalized gifts.

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