(Closed) Bridesmaid gift expectations & etiquette

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would still get them something although you have been generous enough. It doesnt have to cost anything! you could make each one a scrapbook with memories youve had with each of them or get plain white photoframes and decorate them to each BMs taste and put a pic of you with each one at the wedding/bridal shower/hen party. They will probably love it and you will have put the effort in without spending much if anything.

Post # 4
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@jcl12:  I think it’s still nice to give a small gift. You can get pretty stationary for $1-$5 at Michael’s, or a small picture frame. Anything cute and sweet that you think they might like with a nice note of thanks is fine. 

Post # 5
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

It sounds like you paid for their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, right? You are totally fine – your gift was their dresses. 🙂

And as you stated, I would write them a personalized card after the wedding, a very nice touch.  

Post # 6
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s necessary – but I don’t think bridesmaids gifts are ever mandatory. A thank you card is definitely necessary, but gifts? Eh, I don’t know. I think it would be really sweet of you to get them something small to thank them for their time and friendship, but I wouldn’t break the bank. A bottle of prosecco or a small piece of jewelry or something like that. And I think gift cards are fine, as long as it’s not a small amount at an expensive place. ($20 to Target? It’ll be gone by the end of the day! But I’m still carrying around a $20 gift card to Bloomingdale’s that I got two years ago. Lol.)

Post # 7
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would still get them thank you cards and a small gift. I disagree that their dresses are their “gifts.” However, I do believe that since you spent on them for everything that you wouldn’t get them a big gift like normal.

Post # 8
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think a very small memento would be nice, but as previous posters have mentioned, it doesn’t have to be expensive.

Post # 9
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@jcl12:  If a bride foots the bill for all their bridesmaids’ dresses, hair and makeup, are they still expected to purchase them a Bridesmaid or Best Man gift as well?

 

 

I say yes, unless it was previously agreed upon that the dress would be the thank you gift.  The reason being that hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry, and anything else to be worn for the wedding cannot be considered a gift because it’s really for the bride and her vision.  The dress is the exception because, at least in the US, the BMs are expected to buy the dress.

 

 

Now the gift doesn’t have to be anything super fancy, just something to say thank you for standing up for you and supporting your as you enter into this new phase of your life.  It can be a nice bottle of wine or simple scrapbook or even just a heart-felt thank you if that’s what your budget allows.  We spent about $70 per person and I paid for my BMs’ manis and pedis.  I think for your situation, I’d look to spend $20-$30 (if your budget allows).  Gift cards are fine and you definitely don’t have to get them the same thing.  Each person in our Bridal Party got something different based on their interests.

 

 

 

I will also say that the BMs don’t need to earn their gift by helping with x number of projects or attending y number of dress fittings/shopping trips or anything like that.  The GMs don’t usually help with this stuff and they still get a nice gift, so I don’t understand why it would be different for a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

 

 

 

Post # 10
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m in a similar boat. I don’t think it’s necessary to give a gift, but it is nice… even if it’s just a small one. My girls love tea, so I picked up some really cute tea cups with infusers and lids in different patterns and a couple sampler packs of loose tea from a local tea shop. I didn’t want to break the bank (let’s face it… it was already broken lol). It wound up being ~$15 per girl. A girlfriend of mine gave bottles of her homemade wedding wine. We loved it, and she had paid about $4/bottle.

Post # 11
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t think there is any need to, however you could always just get them something small as a ‘gift.’ For example, I was just a bridesmaid and the bride paid for our hair and makeup to be done but then on the day she gave us all little pearl earings to wear, she would have picked them up very cheaply, but it was a nice gesture on top of all the other things she had bought. I suppose it’s always nice to have something to keep.

Post # 12
Member
9202 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yeah, something small would still be nice – a dress they may never wear again, and hair/makeup for the day of, aren’t really lasting gifts per se.  A $20 pair of earrings and heart-felt note, or something similar, would be really nice.

Post # 13
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think you’re doing more then enough but a little gift would be nice with a card.

Post # 14
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would do something really small since you’ve already been so generous.  Perhaps give them each a small picture frame and then, after the wedding, mail them each a really sweet note with a picture of just the bridesmaid and you that she can put in the frame.  Or, if you google bridesmaids gifts under $10, you’ll find some cute ideas (especially on Etsy) for personalized notecards, luggage tags, etc.  I believe I even saw personalized cosmetic bags for under $10.00 on etsy that were super cute.

Post # 15
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I just got a really cute compact mirror from things remembered with my name & their wedding date. It’s adorable & I know things are on sale right now bc mothers day is coming up. You should check them out. 

Post # 16
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Buying stuff that YOU require them to use/have/wear for YOUR wedding is not a gift. You should definitely get them something that is not part of their bridesmaid uniform to show appreciation for them as individuals who have played important roles in getting you to that very moment in time.

 

I paid for MOH’s dress, shoes, hair, make-up and accomodations. Since they were all things related to MY wedding, I did not treat them as gifts to her. My gift to her was a giftcard that would cover a dinner for 2 at Ruths Chris, which is she and her husband’s favorite restaurant. Oh, and free babysitting for their child while they went to dinner (love that little guy, so I’ll take any excuse to hang out with him).

Edit: While I was thanking her on the surface for being my Maid/Matron of Honor, I was really thanking her for more than a decade of friendship, trust, love, and support. She is one of my marriage role models, and seeing her balance the role of wife with the role of mother and career woman, too, gave me a boost of confidence that I could do the same. And when I thought about it that way, facilitating a romantic dinner with her husband seemed to be the least that I could do.

 

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