(Closed) Bridesmaid gift or pay for dresses?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Bridesmaid gift or pay for dresses?
    I would rather get a bridesmaid gift. It's more thoughtful and BM dresses are not gifts! : (22 votes)
    26 %
    I would rather get a free bridesmaid dress.It's just as thoughtful & I hate paying for those things! : (62 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1722 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I  voted for dress because I become a bridesmaid expecting to buy a dress and don’t even think about the gift.  I don’t need a gift, I’m there for the bride, to make her happy, I honestly forget I’m supposed to get a gift until they give to me.  If I went in expecting to fork out a chunk of change on a dress I would probably wear once (something I am fine with because like I said I am there for the bride) and then be told the bride would buy my dress for me I would be extactic.  It also helps your girls save some $ and as someone who is tight on money, that is a huge gift.  But ultimatly it comes down to your girls and what you think they would appreciate more.

    Post # 4
    Member
    386 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I straight up asked my BMs lol. They both said dress, one changed her mind and asked if she could have a gift if she gave me the money for the dress, I said “sure” then she changed back again and said she’d rather not pay for the dress haha.

    I’d ask them, what will it hurt to ask?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1975 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    i voted for a gift as every wedding i have been in i have paid for my own dress. my BMs are paying for their own dress. For me that is normal.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    8430 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would prefer the dress because a lot of the time the gift is nothing more than a prop for teh wedding (jewellery etc) or something Bridesmaid or Best Man branded (that will never be used again) or something not personal 9as in everyone gets the same clutch or whatever).

    I would prefer one useless thing in my house ( because very few of us ever wear the dress again) than two!

    Post # 7
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee

    you can pay for the dress and then just buy something not so expensive as gift,

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    23602 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    You know, on hindsight, I think that if my girls didn’t have to pay for their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, they all would’ve been much much happier. That being said, I got them lots of gifts and they loved those too.  Tough call! Either way would be lovely.  What if you bought their dresses, and then as gifts, just made them something?  A simple framed photo of you with the bridesmaid, and a card expressing your gratitude?

    Post # 9
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I originally wasn’t planning on paying for their dress but there was so much complaining about the color of the dress, the cut of the dress, the design, the price etc… it was just easier to shut them up by buying it all and giving it to them.  Compromising between 6 girls wasn’t not easy….  On the wedding day, I just wrote them meaningful letters about how much they each meant to me and it seemed to work out 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    9647 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I think pay for the dresses but still get something small as a gift as well

    Post # 11
    Member
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    it really does not matter they both are very kind gestures.  And I dont think that anyone becomes a Bridesmaid or Best Man for the loot!! However if you wish to pay for the dress and do something little…. Go to cottonage.com they have $5 robes you can Iron on initials.  I did them and it was about $6 each one.  But dont feel obligated to do both.  I think it is ao crazy how there is so much stress on these gifts these are important people in your life they should want to be there for you and help you….

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    gift. but as long as it’s a gift that isn’t related to the wedding. I gave my girls coach wristlets and pandora charms and i know for a fact they appreciated that more than their dress. They STILL use their wristlets.

    If you were going to give them jewelry for the wedding and say, flip flops, i would say pay for their dress instead

    Post # 13
    Member
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    It depends on what the gift is, and how much the dresses cost.

    Post # 14
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m paying for their dresses, robes to get ready in and earrings plus hair and make up. I will probably give them a framed photo from the photographer after the wedding as well.

    Personally, I would rather have a free dress. Even if the gift was really nice (I know a bride that gave the BM’s silver Tiffany necklaces) I think if you are spending $150 on a gift, why not put that towards to dress?

    Post # 16
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    On the one hand, not having to pay for the dress that Iwill likely never wear again would be nice.

    The Bridesmaid or Best Man gift is a thank you for all the support you show them throughout the wedding process and all the help with wedding preparations, I think the Bridesmaid or Best Man gift should reflect the close relationship you have and really express the brides gratitude.

    I don’t feel a bride buying the dresses for her girls would reflect that, it’s too much all about what the bride wants in the first place for that to be considered the gift. I would be insulted for the bride to just pay for my dress, rather then give me something small that reflects my tastes and style.

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