Post # 1
I’m feeling kind of cheap. My bridesmaids aren’t really doing anything for me at all….I’m really not being rude, I feel like that is okay, but my Maid/Matron of Honor hasn’t done anything either…I’m planning our night together before the wedding because they don’t know what to do. Traditionally aren’t they suppose to chip in for that night, how can I pay for that myself? But I went out of my way to get them all to buy the cheapest bridesmaid dress I could find (kind of sacrificed my top choice for a bridesmaid dress) just to make sure they all could afford it. I feel like..I don’t know what to get them for a "bridesmaid gift" I would feel much more inclined to get them really awesome things if I felt like "wow what awesome friends they really made me feel special and pulled things off for me" does anyone know what I mean? So far, I’ve just bought them all "pearl" necklaces to wear on the wedding day. I feel like I want to get them something like each a gift basket or something, but then again I’m like, I feel so disconnected with all of them. I know I don’t have the right attitude of giving…but I really don’t have that much money, I’m still in college and just having a small but nice wedding. I do want to thank them for being in my wedding.
IDEAS?! COMMENTS?! 🙂
Post # 3
How about just a nice card with a note of gratitude. I don’t think Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts have to be extravagant if you can’t afford that…and the more personal the better. And you have gotten them necklaces so it’s not like you aren’t getting them anything. But maybe to also include something that is more about them and not about your wedding, you could find very low price gifts of bath type stuff. I’ve seen pretty nice stuff at places like TJMaxx. You can put together something for each of them without spending a lot of money.
It also sounds like you’re feeling a bit down b/c your BM’s aren’t very enthusiastic. Are you one of the first to get married? they might not be familiar with all the traditions etc. I don’t really have any advice on how to subtly hint at it, but maybe some other bees might.
Post # 4
I think the Pearl necklaces are a great gift. To personalize it even more you can add a gift card to their favorite store/shop (i.e. Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, etc.)
Post # 5
thanks for the suggestions!! I really appreciate it. Yea, I guess I am feeling down! I am the first to get married out of them (they are all my age) EXCEPT one..who just got married last year…
Post # 6
I totally hear you bc my Wedding Party has included one friend who, well, hasn’t pitched in at ALL, and in fact, has been very difficult to say the least. I seriously considered "breaking up with her" so to speak, but I just couldn’t imagine the thought of asking her not to be in the wedding. I’m much too big an avoider of conflict. However, when I go back to the Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts I keep wanting to get them all these great things but hten I keep thinking- God, I don’t want to get HER that! She’s been awful! My wedding is 3 mos away, she has had her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for 9 months now, I live with her, have asked her to try it on so I could see, and she still has not. It’s been hanging in the closet ever since I gave it to her and she fully admits she has no desire to try it on.. even when another Bridesmaid or Best Man was over and tried hers on so I could see. WTF?! So, I am supposed to spend all this money to thank that Bridesmaid or Best Man…for what??? But it’s totally hard b/c you can’t do more or less for some people than you do others. I say if you are not feeling the love from ANY of your BMs, just get them all a nice card and something very very small, honestly. I don’t think you should be obligated to go above and beyond for them if they haven’t done anything for you.
Post # 7
I posted this the other day as a nice gift, its fairly inexpensive but still nice and you would at least feel like you are giving them something. I feel your pain, my bridesmaids are my 3 sisters who I kind of felt obligated to ask and now wish I hadn’t given in to my mother’s whining. They have shown no interest in the wedding at all, expect me to buy their dresses and pay for getting their hair done, that will not be happening, so they might end up not in the wedding after all if they don’t get on the ball and order their dresses ….Here is the link http://www.papyrus.com and the picture, I think they were around 15.00 each.
Post # 8
I think just the necklace is fine. Especially if you found good prices on dresses, and they’re not helping out with your planning. I think it’s hard to understand the expenses and time that go into a wedding until you’re planning one. I did the same with my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, so everyone could afford it. Now, I’m also trying to decide on Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts and I don’t want to spend more than they’ve spent on the dresses but I’m easily running over that cost becuase I’m paying for everyone to have their hair done the day of….