Post # 1
I think I already know the answer to my question, but could use some validation. All of my bridesmaids gifts should be of equal value (except maybe the MOH), right?
I have 5 bridesmaids – 2 in town, 3 out of town. So far I’ve bought robes and made personalized hangers. I haven’t purchased the main part of the gift yet, which will be jewelry or jewelry boxes.
– MOH has been great. She’s organized the shower (paid for by mom Mom) and is going to plan the bachelorette. She’s been super awesome.
– Out of town BM has been great support by phone, and she’s flown in for all the wedding events which is $$$.
– In town BM has not helped me or my MOH. Let’s just say she’s been the source of a lot of stress.
– Then I have two family members 10 years younger than me who live across the country. Not very close and haven’t attended any wedding events.
So… I know gifts shouldn’t be looked at as rewards or anything, but I’m hesitant to blow a ton money getting them all something really nice when I don’t think it will be appreciated by 3 of them (I was looking at Tiffany bracelets because I know the two who have put in a lot of effort would love them). But then I also don’t want the two who have really been there, not to get someting great just because I can’t afford it for 5 people.
In the end it doesn’t matter, right? They should all be the same value?
Post # 3
I would spend an equal amount on all of them, because you usually present your gifts at the rehearsal dinner, or the day of. That being said, you can always have a separate luncheon or dinner for the 2 girls who have helped you a ton, and give them a little extra gift then.
Post # 4
I disagree. I was BM for my friend’s wedding and I was there every step of the way with the MOH – I helped the MOH plan the bach party, I stayed later during the bach party than anyone else (the MOH left early!), I spent a significant amount of money on her bridal shower gift ($200), I went early to help set up the shower and stayed later to help her get her gifts to the car and I really did a lot for her and I thought it was really hurtful and impersonal that when she gave me the gift, I got the same thing as everyone else.
I think the gift is a thank you for all the effort. It isn’t a reward, but it certainly is an acknowledgment of all the effort that has gone into your wedding. I would be seriously insulted if I flew in from our of town for every one of your wedding events and you thought to thank me in the same way as the girls who never showed up to your events at all (which is what happened – one of the girls didn’t even come to the rehearsal dinner).
Now, I don’t know necessarily that the ‘value’ should be different, but I think you should acknowledge the girls who did more by spending more time/money/effort/whatever on their gift and less on the girls who didn’t spend as much time/money/effort on your wedding.
That’s just my thought on it.
Post # 5
i didnt do it equal, each got box full of what their theme was, each got a gift card and things that worked with gift card– one was apple bees gift card- then some burt bees items and apple candle. one was a paradise box–gift card to paradise salon and beach scented candle and beach scentsy items. one was standford box- had standford gift card, marion berry flavored chocolate(she gets the marion berry cobbler at that restuant) marionberry candle. last one was coffee lover- so black rock gift card, coffee mug, chocolate covered esspresso beans.
each got jewelry to wear for the day too
Post # 6
I’ve been a BM quite a few times, and I always give my all – it’s just how I am. I’ve usually received the same gift(s) as the other girls and it never really bothered me.
As a BM, I feel my job is to make sure the bride is calm throughout the whole process, assist her with… whatever stuff she needs. Help her on the day of, etc. It’s not about the gift I get at the end, but making sure the bride has the best day. 🙂