(Closed) Bridesmaid gifts…how much to spend and what counts as a gift?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I got mine a nice set of necklaces and earrings. They are nice and are in the style each girl likes so they can wear them again. I am also paying for the hair and makeup and writing each a personalized thank you. Even though they are for the wedding they are nice and I consider them a gift. Who cares what other people say, it’s your wedding and your bridesmaids do whatever you think feels right. 

Post # 32
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

In my circle the gift for your BMs tends to be the jewelry that they will wear at the wedding. I actually make jewelry and my BMs are super excited to be getting necklaces and earrings I’ve hand made for them.

 

I’ve never hear of This “not counting” as a gift until the Bee. It amazes me the level of gifting expectation on this website.

Post # 33
Member
390 posts
Helper bee

I am so sick of this “what counts as gifts” thing the people on this website talk about all the time. If somebody is spending money on you and giving you something material, that is a gift.

If I gave my fiance a vaccuum as a present, even if he doesn’t LOVE vaccuuming, it is still a GIFT. 

Post # 34
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Demetries

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adomke:  amen! I agree it’s like your giving wedding related things for…. Being in your wedding! It’s not they’re birthday or Christmas I don’t get it luckly my bridesmaids all agree and will be happy with anything. 

Post # 35
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Demetries

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leximarti082:  so your going to put $300 shears? Plus other tools? That’s very generous! 

Post # 36
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

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Mrsmello2015:  She’s been one of my best friends since we were 12 and it’s in our budget so why not? 

Post # 37
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Demetries

We all don’t have that budget. All my friends are thrilled to help out. I know they would all appreciate anything I picked out wedding related or not.

Post # 38
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

I don’t expect gifts for being in a wedding I agreed to be a part of, so I would be happy with anything. Even just a thank you note. 

 

Also, I don’t consider a robe or jewelry to be just a wedding prop. Even if you were to give me something with your wedding date engraved on it (which I wouldn’t even want) it’s still a gift!! It’s a wedding, not Christmas.

Post # 39
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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adomke: I second that. There is no right definition of gift. I bought my Bridesmaid or Best Man pink Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and doing her hair. I personally don’t really care how BMs do their as long as they are presentable but one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man kept pressuring me so I am doing everyone’s hair. I am not sure about how other people feel but I think if I am Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would rather have the bride cover dress or wedding related stuff than have me pay for stuff and give me some gift that I may or may not use. 

Post # 40
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I spent about $30 on pearl and sterling silver pendants from Eve’s Addiction for all three of my bridesmaids and two flower girls. I think it was a good investment, because 3 out of the 5 wear those pendants fairly regularly. 

Post # 41
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

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Unfathomably: Every circle is different. My bridesmaids expected me to pay for their dresses and hair and makeup, but that’s the practice where I’m from — they all footed the bill when I was in their weddings, too, and I wore my own jewellery/shoes because the gifts were all personal.

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adomke:  
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Mrsmello2015: As a few PP said, I think there’s a middle ground. While anything given to you technically “counts” as a gift, there are plenty of threads on here written by brides about “bad” gifts too. I don’t think it’s about price, it’s just about being thoughtful — for example, if I gave a “steak of the month club” voucher to a vegetarian, I think they’d be justified in thinking that was a pretty crappy gift.

One PP said she bought robes, but ran it by her BMs first and had them tell her what colour they would like, so obviously she was taking what they wanted into consideration. Some of the jewellery gifts posted on this thread are beautiful, simple and classic, and can definitely be worn again.

On the other hand, I’d genuinely question the idea that a robe or tank top or tumbler that says “bridesmaid” is a gift — you might get to keep it, but it’s nearly always something purchased because the bride wants a particular photo and I can’t really imagine any of my friends wanting to use something like that outside of the wedding.

Post # 42
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

*Jerry Seinfeld voice*

“What is the DEAL with personalized hangers?  What do you even DO with a personalized hanger?  Put a coat on it?  Why?  What’s the point?  If I had a personalized hanger I’d personalize it with my garbage can.” 

🙂

Post # 43
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Demetries

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theblackcat:  I don’t get this picture obsession. I could care less about getting a good picture with a robe, hanger, or anything else. I guess what I have an issue with is its a gift for being in a wedding so if it has something to do with your wedding I don’t see how thats offensive. I trust my taste and know my friends enough to know what they will like and what they would never use again.

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