Post # 1
Fiancee’s bridal appointment is Saturday, and she booked another hour after for bridesmaid dresses. Well today, we find out bridesmaid got engaged to boyfriend of 2 months. Then she decides that she wants her wedding June 24, only a week after the date that we originally choos for ours. But I’m not mad about that, you can get married whenever you want.
However, now she wants to take time away from my fiance’s appointments to look for her own wedding dress, and that has me pissed off beyond belief. Am I overreacting? And how do we tackle this somewhat nicely?
Post # 2
I can’t imagine the bridal salon would be okay with that? Seems like it would be very chaotic and they’d want her to book her own appointment.
Post # 3
Hi Groombee. Nice to see a groom on here. It’s great that your involved and supporting your Bride, but you need to let her handle this.
I think she should be happy for her and tell her she it certainly entitled to look at gowns while they are at the shop (can’t stop her from that anyway), but if she wants to try any on she will have to make her own appointment. I think the shop will tell her that too. Your bride want to make the shop aware of this before the appointment.
Post # 4
cindy419 : that’s the thing, she’s not exactly happy for her. The bridesmaid had known the guy for 2 months, and had broken up and gotten back together. She thinks she’s making a mistake. My words, not mine.
The problem is that she will tell me all the frustrations, but will defer to just letting things happen to avoid confrontation. That’s always been her. She’s upset, and she told the bridesmaid that if they had time at the end of the appointment she could look, and talked to the store, and they’re gonna make sure it doesn’t happen. At the moment, we don’t want to rock the boat, we just want to try to make everything work. This just doesn’t seem like a good start.
Post # 5
Does your fiance need an audience to try on dresses? Each of them should make their own appointment and have their own sales consultant. If those happen to be at the same time and they get to do a twirl around on the catwalk for each other, so be it. If not, no big deal. Your fiance calling the bridal shop to ask them to deny serving the other bride is just petty.
Post # 6
Horseradish : it’s an appointment that my fiancee made purely for the bridesmaid to try on different styles so that she can try to decide on a style for them. How is her trying not to have her appointment derailed petty?
I could understand if it was in general. But she already said that if she made an appointment just for trying on wedding dresses, she would gladly go to it. It is simply rude for her to railroad an important appointment with multiple bridesmaids just to try on wedding dresses for an entirely different wedding.
Post # 7
I would totallllllly not be okay with this! It’s not hard for her to make her own appointment.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2018 - Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills
Most bridal salons only allow one person (or if it is for bridesmaids one wedding party) to try on dresses per appointment…Unless she makes her own appointment right after I doubt they would even let her do this. But I agree, kind of rude for her to suggest trying on her own dress during a friend’s appointment. She should make her own appointment
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College
mmgroom Sounded to me like there are two appointments – 1 for the bride and 1 for the bridesmaids? And they are back to back? Is this her first dress appointment when she’s trying on stuff? Cause I got to be honest, those ladies sitting around waiting for your fiance to come out with dress after dress? They are probably going to be scouring the store between dresses, getting bored, drinking, talking, and probably wouldn’t mind seeing someone else come out with dresses on. It’s basically what you do for the bridal appointment. The consultants put you in the dress; you walk out, everyone Ooooos, and then you try the next one on. No one needs the entire store’s undivided attention while they are getting squished or clipped into a dress.
It’s fine. If they are trying on at the same time, as long as they don’t fall in love with the same dress, no skin off anyone’s nose (particularly because you are getting married first ;).)
Post # 10
Wow, the bridesmaid has lost her mind. You’re not overreacting.
Not only is what she wants to do rude, it’s going to make picking dresses more difficult for everyone, including her. I doubt she cares about that, of course, but it’s a reason to shut her down. It’ll disrupt the whole dress-picking process.
I think you and your fiancé will have to drop being polite with this bridesmaid and be frank instead. It may be difficult, but she will walk all over your fiancé and your wedding otherwise. If you can’t be frank with her without her becoming a terror, then rethink having her in the wedding.
Post # 11
If your fiancée doesn’t want to confront it directly (which, it doesn’t need to be a “confrontation”, just a matter of fact “the appointment is for getting a bridesmaids dress. You’ll need to book a bridal appointment at the store for bridal dresses.”), Then either you or her needs to call the shop and give them a heads up. Let them be the bad guys. They’ll undoubtedly have seen it before.
I agree, it’s not ok for her to take over the appointment your fiancée made for her bridesmaids dresses with her own agenda. I don’t think it’s pretty, it’s selfish of the bridesmaid to expect that appointment to now serve her wedding. She can make her own.
Post # 12
mmgroom : is it that the bridesmaid wants to shop for her own wedding dress during the bride’s appointment, or during the bridesmaid appointment?
if she’s hoping to “share” a bridal appointment, the easy answer is just not to invite the bridesmaid to the bridal appointment. there is no reason to have the bridesmaids there to pick out the wedding dress – and more opinions is often a terrible idea. plus, the salon won’t allow this anyway. they’re not going to squeeze in another bride to the appointment. she’ll have to make her own.
if her plan is to bridal shop during the bridesmaid appointment, well again, the salon isn’t going to do this. they make bridemaid and bridal appointment separately and even oftentimes have separate areas for these appts. but they’re not going to allow a bridemaid appt to turn into a bridal gown appt. if she wants to schedule (with the salon directly) her bridal gown appt at the same time that your fiancee was planning to have them do bridesmaid dresses, then just let her. it means that she won’t be part of choosing the dress and she’ll just have to buy whatever bride and other bridesmaids pick
Post # 13
Your Fiance isn’t petty, her friend is selfish. Honestly, when it comes to weddings, I’m a big fan of bridesmaids handling the drama when they can, so that the bride can stay out of it. My bridesmaids have done this for me during my engagement, and I’ve done it for friends when I’ve been a bridesmaid. Drama should be kept away from the bride. I imagine if I had a bridesmaid who wanted to take over my bridal appt, the other bridesmaids would tell her — away from me — that NO that’s not cool, you’ll have to make your own, let’s make this special for the bride, it’s her appt. That’s what mine would prob do. Would any of your FI’s other bridesmaids do this for her?
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
I hated dress shopping which is why I did 90% of the experience online, so if a friend wanted to come along to make it less boring and we could have fun trying on dresses together, I’d actually be more excited!
But if your fiancée does not feel this way then that’s fair too. I don’t know why the whole bridal party needs to be present anyway, seems like it drags out the process and makes choosing one even harder when you’re getting so many opinions.
Post # 15
Is the appointment for your fiancee to try on wedding dresses? Or is the appointment for the bridesmaid to try on bridesmaid dresses?