Post # 1
My wedding is in two weeks, and one of my bridesmaids broke up with her significant other a couple months ago who was originally invited to the wedding. She asked me if she could invite a friend as her date instead (who I don’t know well and is coming out of town), which I said was perfectly fine. When planning out our rehearsal and rehearal lunch, I told everyone I just wanted people who were involved in the wedding at the rehearsal and dates could come to the lunch afterwards. She asked if she could bring her guest to the rehearsal, and although I told everyone else not to bring their dates, I agreed because I felt bad since she is coming out of town. Now my bridesmaid has informed me that she will be bringing her guest early to all of the pre-wedding getting ready activities. Our ceremony is at noon, so all of the bridesmaids and I are going to the venue early in the morning to get ready. I really wanted that time with just the bridesmaids, and while I understand her guest is out of town, I figured it wouldn’t be a problem for her to come up later with my bridesmaid’s parents (who she is staying with). I just feel stressed now that I have to worry about someone else being at the venue and what to do with her while we are getting ready. I don’t really know her well and don’t necessarily want her to be part of such a special time. Would it be totally out of line for me to ask my bridesmaid to have her guest come up later with the other guests? Or is that selfish of me?
Post # 3
Nope — I think it’s out of line for her to bring her guest to the getting ready activities.
You can say that to her though in a nice way, I think. This is someone you love enough to include them in your bridal party, so if you explain to them that you really wanted it to be just your bridal party there getting ready, especially since the guest has a ride there — she should be agreeable.
Post # 4
Did she say why she was bringing her? I would be kinda taken aback that she just “invited” her without asking. Just let her know (gently) that you would prefer the pre-wedding activities to include only those in the bridal party. If I were the guest, I would feel awkward just sitting around while everyone else gets ready!
Post # 5
She is being ridiculous, even if her guest is from out town if she an adult she should be pretty capeable of handling herself for a few hours before the wedding. I been to a few weddings where either I or Fi were part of the bridal party and it’s never been an issue.
My suggestion is to make sure she(guest) meats other plus one of the bridal party and maybe they can have lunch and hang out together, two provide some nearby options for sightseeing or a movie so she can kill a few hours before the wedding.
Post # 6
I’d imagine her guest would feel pretty uncomfortable tagging along for the rehearsal and morning activites when her friend (your BM) will be busy enough as it is! It’s not unreasonable or selfish for you to ask her to come later with the BM’s parents.
Post # 7
Thank you for all of your honest feedback!
Post # 8
I just had this same issue and I didn’t allow the guest to get ready with us. The out of town guest came later with my brother in law. I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaid because they are the people that are closest to me and I really wanted that time with just them. It was the only time that just the bridal party was together, because the guest and others came everywhere else with us to all the prewedding stuff. I was upfront from the beginning that getting ready was for the bridal party only, absolutely no exceptions. I got a little attitude about it, but I stuck to my guns and made sure that they would have other transportation there. I don’t regret it.
Post # 9
It has already amazed me the weird situations you end up in when you’re planning a wedding. I thought my life was drama-free and that my friends would never do weird stuff like this. But somehow, it happens!!
I would tell your friend and her guest that you’ve arranged for her guest to come to the wedding with the BM’s parents. I wouldn’t phrase it as a question. Just tell her that’s what’s happening. If the guest has any sense, she’ll completely understand and not try to come to the getting ready stuff.