(Closed) Bridesmaid has other priorities!!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I boot her out of the wedding party?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    6 %
    No : (105 votes)
    94 %
  • Post # 16
    4037 posts
    Honey bee

    Kwhite20:  Heck, I’m not on board with your theme, so I wouldn’t be there to have my face painted, either. Having you dictate the make-up for the wedding would probably be all I could handle.  From what I’ve read, if I was your cousin/bridesmaid, I’d be happy for an excuse to jump off of your wedding crazy-train. Rots-a-ruck!

    Post # 17
    4037 posts
    Honey bee

    Who’s the 1 vote for yes? The OP?


    Post # 18
    642 posts
    Busy bee

    This HAS to be trolling.

    Just in case it isn’t: NEWSFLASH – Bridesmaids are allowed to have other priorities.

    Kicking a bridesmaid out of your wedding party for saying she’ll be an hour late to designated ‘preparation time’ for your shower is the most immature and ridiculous way possible for you to react, so congratulations.

    Post # 19
    4242 posts
    Honey bee

    My wedding isn’t even my #1 priority. 

    Also if my friend wanted my face painted like a sugar skull for her bridal shower I would probably be busy that day too….

    Post # 20
    195 posts
    Blushing bee

    Kwhite20:  If I was a bridesmaid (or you, for that matter) I wouldn’t want my face to be painted anyways. It’s uncomfortable and bad for your skin. And then to have to get a party ready with it on? Yuck, sweaty mess. I actually do think it’s a cute idea just not for me. Maybe buy her a day of the dead themed mask? It’s a compromise, at least!

    Post # 21
    7430 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Face painting? Help you set up? Those aren’t things you should be asking your bridesmaids to do. 

    Post # 22
    116 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    What if someone couldn’t have their face painted? It took 4 months of trial and error for me to find regular make up for my wedding day. Face paint? I’d be dosed up on benedry for the next two days. 

    Honestly you sound kind of demanding. Normally you don’t host your own shower let alone place all these demands on others. It should have been up to your bridesmaids to decide to host a shower in your honor including the theme.

    Post # 23
    758 posts
    Busy bee

    Between planning your own shower, picking a culturally insensitive theme, asking your bridesmaids to paint their faces (which is terrible for your skin), and then getting mad when your bridesmaid hints at having her own life, I have no words. 

    The fact that the other 7 agreed to go is impressive. I’d focus on that. 

    Post # 24
    6040 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State


    Kwhite20:  you can’t be serious….. her life does not revolve around your wedding events. She’s allowed to still have plans.She didn’t say she isn’t going to make it, she’s going to be an hour behind. You really need to realize that your bridesmaids aren’t your employees or your slaves. to be honest, I wouldn’t really want my face painted (really? a facepainter at a wedding shower? isn’t that what they have at kids parties?) so maybe she’s just trying to skip that part.

    Aquaria:  I was going to say the same thing. Day of the dead isn’t a “theme”.it’s a sacred day to a lot of people.

    Post # 25
    719 posts
    Busy bee

    Yup, I was cringing at the face painting too.  You can offer that as an option.  Maybe your bridesmaids are all excited.  I would most definitely say no, I don’t care who you are to me.

    Post # 26
    5364 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I’m surprised only 3 comments have been made about you throwing your own ridiculous shower….

    Post # 27
    910 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013


    Kwhite20:  ok….. IMO you are getting a little beat up on here………

    While I am not a fan of the face painting idea, I do get where you are coming from.

    You have been planning your shower for months and extended the courtesy of telling your girls as soon as possible about the date.  You would think that your girls would make it a point to be there on time or even early to help out. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks this way.  If I had a special pary to go to for a friend or family member I would make sure that I was not doing anything wild and crazy the night before that could impact my ability to get to the party on time and in good shape.  However, again, not everyone thinks this way.  I have been in your shoes.  I had a bridesmaid that completely destroyed my bach party because she needed to go out the night before the party.  I didnt care that she went out but this girl couldnt get it together in the morning, missed her bus, caused everyone else to miss their bus, and the day spiraled from there.  Was the day salvagable? Sort of but the day really did not go off as planned and in a way I am a bit bitter at her.

    Basically this is all that I can say…. be glad that you know of her plans now.  If she shows up to get her face painted in time great…. if not…. than she can stand out like a sore thumb…… if she doesnt show up at all……. do your best to party on without her……….

    The hardest thing to realize when planning a wedding is that often times the bridal party is not really all that interested in celebrating…. sometimes it is resentment, sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes it is financial…. somtimes it is all of the above………

    I wish you the best of luck 


    Post # 28
    2020 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    People are giving you a lot of shit already, I agree you should be getting some shit because you’re being self-centered but on the other hand I realize your cousin agreed to come a while ago and knew what day it was. Unfortunately her event the night before sounds like it will be a lot of fun and she didn’t say she wouldn’t be at your shower the next. Just that she might be late. Face painting is for kids and who plans their own shower? Setting up should be for the host and those who offer to help. You trapped 7 others for sure in this party of yours, deal with it.

    Post # 29
    1624 posts
    Bumble bee

    Why did you ask her to be a bridesmaid? I always thought that those in the wedding party had a extra special relationship with the bride and groom and the couple wanted to honor and distinguish that. A bridesmaid should not have to sacrifice her life to your wedding related events. She said she would attend your shower and that is supportive enough. You seem to have other priorities than being a good friend to her.

    Post # 30
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014


    PABride:  I voted yes because the poor bridesmaid deserves better than to be treated like this.

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid has other priorities!!’ is closed to new replies.

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