Post # 1
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
I asked my bridesmiad to be part of the wedding party 9-12 months ago. We are getting married in 6 weeks, with the RSVP date in 3 days.
One bridesmiad has yet to even confirm she is coming. it’s not a problem for dresses as they are each doing their own thing, but it’s 6 weeks before and she hasn’t confirmed yet.
Am I being sensitive here? her scenario is that she’s 20 years old, a cousin who lives a 2.5 hours flight away. Now I know she may not be able to afford it, but all I’m asking for is a straight up answer ages ago.
I didn’t really think the RSVP deadline applied to them, like others, I thought she would have confirmed earlier.
Post # 3
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
the title of your post makes it seem like she hasn’t yet confirmed she will be a bridesmaid.
yeah, you are being sensitive. you know she’s coming- she’s in the wedding party! a little annoying that she hasn’t RSVPed yet, but she hasn’t even past the deadline.
Post # 4
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
Wait, so she hasn’t confirmed that she’s going to the wedding, or that she’s going to remain a bridesmaid?
Probably the only way to get an answer from her is to call and ask her point blank for a yes or no. It seems like there may be some assumptions floating around that need to be cleared up.
Post # 5
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
She accepted to be a bridesmaid, but said she would see if she could make it, that was months ago. She hasn’t confirmed is she’s actually coming or not.
Post # 6
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
OMG I would be really upset. I think you just need to call her and ask or email/text her and give her a deadline. I found that actually deadline (i.e. I need to know by Monday) work best.
Post # 7
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
oh sorry- i misunderstood then
Post # 8
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
@CndBride:
You should definitely just call her and ask her if you want an answer (or an explanation as to why she might have to delay confirmation). There could be a ton of reasons why she hasn’t gotten to you yet.
Post # 9
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
You should call her and ask her if she will be there or not…..
Post # 10
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
Wait… you can’t accept the bridesmaid role and then say I’ll see if I can make it. You can’t be a long distance bridesmaid. This sounds a little backwards to me. But yeah, call her and get a definite answer. No more waiting.
Post # 11
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
Bottom line is communication! That’s what needed to happen in the first place. If she accepted the bridesmaid role but told you she didn’t know if she could make it, you probably should have pointed this out a long time ago.
If someone accepts the position, its not a matter of hoping they can make it… they should just make it. If she was unsure in the first place she should have declined.
I would certainly be worried but you should have been communicating with her a long time ago.
Post # 12
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
That’s so bizarre! You can’t really be a bridesmaid if you aren’t physically present for the wedding. How strange! I’d call her up and flat-out ask her whether or not she’s committed to attending your wedding and being in the bridal party.
Post # 13
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
Post # 14
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Thank you everyone for your motivation, I got a hold of her last night. She wrote to me saying a lot has been going and she was avoiding telling me to not hurt my feelings. We’ve cleared the air and we are both ok with it.
As for the iPad, although we don’t have one, we are considering streaming it, I’m still looking into a free good quality service. Everyone lives across the country and it’s a huge family, so streaming it would be an awesome way of including everyone.
Post # 15
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
@CndBride: That’s terrific that you two worked it out. Please let me know what you come up with for streaming. That would be great to do…
Post # 16
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
I have two bridesmaids that haven’t confirmed through my RSVP I mailed to them and our due date is tomorrow, granted, I had dinner with all my girls tonight to discuss the bach party, and I know they are coming, One is my sister, the other is FIs. Kinda funny in my situation, but I’m sorry about yours 🙁 that sucks!