Post # 1
I am having a very small wedding one bridesmaid so I guess that would make her my Maid/Matron of Honor. I have picked out 2 dresses and told her to give me her thoughts on each one (probably my 1st mistake) I was her Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding and I hated my dress, but I didn’t say anything becuase it wasn’t my wedding it was her wedding. I just do not know what to do about this. All the dresses are under $200. She wants me to pay for it, I paid for my dress for her wedding………. she says they are going to show to much cleavage…… She wants me to send the photos of the dresses to her mom so her mother can decide. I refuse to do that because her mother HATES everything anyone picks out. Here are the dresses. i don’t think either are to reveling, and look classy. The wedding colors are burnt orang and ivory and brown. So the dress would probably be mocha with ivory trim and the off the shoulder one i’m not sure just yet.
but does anyone have any tips for this?
Dress 1 : http://www.morilee.com/bridesmaids/affairs/835
Dress 2 : http://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/productdisplay.aspx?productID=707b85e7-8eb7-41ad-8b12-4e54980b26a2&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=2&colorId1=
Post # 3
Link 3 is MIA. She probably doesn’t want to pay so much for dresses that are obviously Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and not rewearable. Ask her to find a few dresses she likes and send them to you so you can find common ground.
Post # 4
I don’t think you picked outrageous dresses, so if you choose to tell her to just deal with it, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Especially since you said you didn’t like but had to pay for your Bridesmaid or Best Man dress in her own wedding. I agree with PP on having her show you a dress she likes, and try to find a common ground. For me I let the girls pick their own dresses and “supervised,” but for me, they’re the ones wearing them not me so I wasn’t that worried about picking a style that I preferred. That may not be how you feel, and if not then ultimately it is your day..
Post # 5
Since you’re just having one Bridesmaid or Best Man can you just tell her to pick her own dress in a certain color and length?
Post # 6
@KristenGotMarried: I agree with this.
Why don’t the two of you take a day and go shopping and find something you both like? There’s no reason to make your Maid/Matron of Honor miserable by wearing a dress she doesn’t like (even if you did the same for her in her wedding). $200 is also a lot to spend on a dress IMO, especially a dress that screams bridesmaid and she won’t be able to wear it again.
Post # 7
I love the dress in the first link. Very pretty and classy. When I was getting married, I picked out several dresses in different styles for my bridesmaids and asked them for their opinion. Then after taking their thoughts into consideration, I chose a dress that everyone seemed to like and agree on. Though this worked for me, it was a lot of listening to others opinions, which can be more time consuming that just picking it out yourself.
Post # 8
#1 is SO pretty!! How in the world would that show cleavage? I say just pick that one. 🙂
Post # 9
Perhaps go shopping together? I bet you could find a dress that you both love. 🙂
Post # 10
I would gently remind her that you wore the dress of her choosing and paid for it. I would also throw in what I really thought of it, but that is just me.
I see this alot and in this case I think its aboslutely acceptable, especially since you paid for, and wore with a smile, the dress of her choosing. Time for her to give you the same consideration.
Post # 11
I have no advice on how to deal with this but I personally like both (I don’t agree with your MOHs comments at all) and they are both rewearable (the second one more so).
Post # 12
Neither of them are ugly but they are obviously bridesmaid dresses. If you only have one dress to find why not use it as an opportunity to pick something she’ll wear again?
Post # 13
@futuretrent: Those dresses are DARLING and beautiful and classy.
Why don’t you ask her what she is looking for in a dress and say that you will consider those attributes and find another couple dresses for her to choose from. If, after your attempt to compromise, she persists and says no or that she wants her mom to see them (????? what the heck for ?????? Can she not decide for herself? Just to give you a hard time since the mom doesn’t like anything ever?) then I would remind her that you were gracious to bend to her taste for her wedding and ask her to please bend to your taste for your wedding. If not, I would give her the option to not be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Good luck!
Post # 14
Is it possible that maybe she is having financial problems and can’t afford these dresses? Could that be why she is having these demands? Maybe she is embarassed and it trying to deflect?
Either way they are both lovely.
The first dress by Mori Lee is actually what my bridesmaids wore (in Metallic Sage) and they looked beautiful and perfectly respectable. I had four BM’s of different sizes, heck one was 7 months pregnant and they all looked great.
Good Luck, I hope you can come to an agreement on something that will work for the both of you.
Post # 14
the first one definitely wouldnt show too much cleavage!
maybe ask her to pick 5 that she likes to show you – maybe youd find one from her list that you like or love as well.
otherwise id remind her how it was when u were her moh!
Post # 15
@JessesGirl: I was thinking this could be a possiblity, too.