(Closed) Bridesmaid hates the dress.. But wont admit it to me?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

If 7/8 people like it I would NOT change it for that one person.  She can buy it, wear it, and be happy for you or she can step down.  Easy!

I also would not invite her opinions on the dress if it’s the one you’ve decided on.  That only opens the door to additional frustration.  

Post # 4
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Is there a bridesmaid out there that loves their dress?  I’ve hated every dress I’ve had to buy, but I’ve kept my mouth shut because that’s party of the deal with being a bridesmaid.


For my own wedding, I picked JCrew dresses that were on sale for $60.  I had some bridesmaids that weren’t pleased with the dress either, but at least they only spent $60.

FWIW-I think the dress you picked looks very nice, but you can’t please everyone.


Post # 5
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MsBark:  Since the other girls are all on board with the dress, I’d tell her to suck it up or step down. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that perhaps offer to contribute towards the cost. Whether she’s a designer whore is irrelevant. She is being told to buy an expensive dress she doesn’t like.

Post # 6
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MsBark:  It’s a pretty dress and it actually does seem like a dress that they could wear again.

I would just keep it, it’s your wedding. Your cousin sent you a drunk text about not liking the dress, I would just let it be. A lot of bridesmaids wear dresses that they don’t like. She needs to just suck it up. Would you say anything if it was her wedding? And the fact that she’s your cousin, makes me think that she should have sucked it up even more because your family. 

And if she says the dress is too expensive, can you offer to put some money towards it and see what she says?

Post # 8
46611 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think she has a valid point. It definitely is not the most flattering style for anyone with wide hips. On the other hand, if she normally wears tight clothes, the style may have nothing to do with her objections.

She sent you a drunk text.  If she doesn’t contact you when she’s sober, ignore it and carry on with your appointment.


Post # 9
8610 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

7/8 is pretty damn good IMO. I wouldn’t change the dress.


Post # 10
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MsBark:  Well if she told you her budget was $400, and it’s under $400 then just says “when I picked the dress I kept everyone’a budget in mind. This dress cost $250 (or whatever it cost) and even with alterations that’s well under your $400 budget. I’m very confused as to why, now, it’s too much for you. This is the dres that I chose and this is the dress that everyone will wear. I was really excited about this whole experience and you tainted it for me” 


Seriously, this girl just sounds like a brat. What does your aunt say about this? Because if I was the cousin and my mom heard I was pulling this shit she would tell me to just suck it up and stay quiet. 


Post # 11
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Honestly, in all of the weddings I have been in usually no one likes the dress. but, it’s not your day so you keep your mouth shut, put a smile on, and do your bridesmaid duties. When you agree to be a part of the wedding you know you are more than likely going to wear something you don’t like and even though everyone claims you can “wear it again”, you won’t. It’s hard to find a dress that works for 8 totally different woman. 

Post # 12
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’ve hated all the bridesmaid dresses I’ve worn. Tell her to get over it.

Post # 13
20 posts
  • Wedding: July 2014

The dress is beautiful. I also have a large bridal party – 7 people. Every one said they loved the dress and if they dont – well, I am not too concerned. When they get married I will wear whatever they ask me to and pay the price. That is the commitment you make when agreeing to be the bridesmaid. It is not their day – It is YOURS.

Post # 14
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

She can suck it up. It’s your day, not hers, and part of saying “yes” to being a bridesmaid is the agreement to wear a dress not of your choosing (that may in fact be hideous), and then to smile and nod when the bride tells you it can be shortened/dyed and worn again later.

I took my girls’ suggestions into consideration during choosing–I had a bunch of styles and told them, it will be X color in Y fabric, which style is your favorite–but after the decision was made, they all knew there was no going back! I’d let it go.

Post # 15
1886 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MsBark:  bridesmaids hate the dresses 99% of the time in my experience. Don’t stress over it! She can handle wearing a dress she doesn’t love for one day. 

Post # 16
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

When I first opened the thread, I expected to see something hideously poofy or very revealing. I actually like the dress. It’s pretty, and something I would keep to wear again if it looked good on me.

That said, I can see how it doesn’t suit her particular body type. Maybe it’s just the picture, but she seems a little top-heavy for it. The skirt looks fine on her hip, but the bust doesn’t flatter her torso very much. But with 8 bridesmaids, the dress isn’t going to look spectacular on everyone’s body so she should just grin and bear it. Also, if she gets a good strapless bra, it could do wonders to keep the puppies up and perky, which would then make her torso appear less boxy in that dress.

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