(Closed) Bridesmaid HELP

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think that it’s appropriate that since she will have a new baby, that you not ask her. You’re right, she will be busy! In fact, I’d bring it up with her if you think she’s expecting to be asked, but chances are, she’s not. Just include her and she’ll probably be happy to be a part of the festivities!

Post # 4
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I didn’t ask my fiance’s SIL, and we’re pretty good friends. I don’t think it’s necessary

Post # 5
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s mean of you at all. If she (or Fiance or FI’s brother) ever brings it up, you can always say you didn’t want to stress her out any more than she’ll already be with the baby.

Post # 6
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think that she will want to be a bridesmaid since she will be having a new baby to take care of.  I would ask her to be sure but I woulnd’t be offended at all.

And welcome!

Post # 7
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think its your choice, and you dont have to feel obliged to give her a spot in the bridal party, how bout give her a reading at the ceremony??

Post # 8
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think it will be a big deal if you don’t have her as a bridesmaid. If would like her to be part of the wedding party in some other capacity then that might be nice (reader, etc). Our wedding party is really small (my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor and my Fiance best friend as his bestman). His sister is doing the first reading, my brother is doing the second reading and usher, and FI’s Brother-In-Law is an usher so they can also have special roles in our day.

Post # 9
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Her having a baby is a totally valid reason to prevent her from being able to fully be a bridesmaid, and I think anyone would understand.  I think you’re right on to have her dance with her hubby for the bridal party dance. 

Maybe consider giving close families members like her a corsage or nosegay the way you would your parents or g-parents (but maybe scaled down a bit so the ‘rents are still VIP)

If you’re worried about appearances, you can preemptively say something like “I know you’ll have your hands full with Baby, so I didn’t want to bog you down with BMs duties, but I still want you to be involved in the wedding”

Post # 11
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think you have to ask her. I didn’t ask my Future Sister-In-Law since we’re not close, she lives across the country and just had a baby. It would be an absolute disaster if she wasn’t there to take care of her baby the whole time as they both have serious separation anxiety. Also, my Fiance did not ask my brother or any my sisters husbands.

If you still feel really awkward leaving her out, ask her to do a reading.

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