(Closed) Bridesmaid HELP!!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
48 posts
  • Wedding: January 1992

@aclotts:  I would bring it up again and if she tries to change the subject say something like “We really need to discuss this.” If she tries to avoid the conversation again be frank and tell her what you are thinking and feeling regardless if she wants to hear it.

If she refuses to listen again, tell her (if this is what you want) that you will have to ask her to step down.

I would find this really stressful and would prefer the awkwardness over the stress. But – that’s just me!

Post # 4
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

give her a deadline on when to get her dress by…if she doesnt do than ask her to step down. it sounds like she has other obligations anyway and might be ignoring you too look for an “out”.

hope everything works out!

Post # 5
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell her that if she is unable to commit by the 11th, you will understand her difficult position because her own timeline is up in the air- but yours isn’t.

I would tell her that if she is unable to order her dress by the 11th, I will consider that she has stepped down, so that i can ask someone else and leave them with 2 weeks to order their dress.

I would make sure that I tell her how much I want her to be in the wedding party, and failing that, at the wedding, but the deadline is looming large and I need a yes or no.

Post # 6
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand this is a frustrating situation, but please don’t kick her out.  Kicking someone out of the bridal party is very rude and is a friendship ending move.  Also, it most likely hurt her feelings that you said you’d need to find a replacement if she couldn’t make it.  It probably made her feel, well, replacable and that she’s just a prop in your wedding.  It’s not surprising she doesn’t want to talk about it.  You also need to understand that she might not want to drop lots of money on a dress she might not wear.

I don’t think she’s jealous or not interested.  If anything, her comment makes me think she’s worried about losing you as a friend.

I would sit down with her and tell her you still want her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, that you understand the situation, make it clear that you are not going to replace her, and tell her that once she knows for sure what she’s doing, then she can order the dress.  From my understanding, it doesn’t take 6-7 months for BM’s dresses (it’s more like 3-4).  The sales people will tell you that it does because they work on commission and want to make the sale.  But please correct me if I’m wrong.

I’m sure it will all work out.


Post # 7
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t think she understands the importance of your wedding. She probably just thinks that all she has to do is throw on a dress you picked and show up for the day. Unfortunately a lot of people think that, and fail to see that as a bride, simply picking out and having your maids try on a dress IS a big thing!

I understand she might be distracted from the wedding by joining the Peace Corps, but simply not wanting to talk to you about it is just rude and immature.

Just give her a deadline. Tell her you need an answer within 3 weeks or it’s a no go. Stand your ground.

By the way, is she paying for her dress, or are you? Because I reckon if she knew she had to pay for her own dress you might have an answer sooner…


Post # 8
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BerryBerry:  =/  I’m sure the Bridesmaid or Best Man understands the importance of the OP’s wedding.  It’s just that her life isn’t put on hold until the wedding is done.


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