Post # 1
I’m 23 and plan on having my wedding 6/16/2012. It’s going to be a small bridal partyI want a very intimate wedding with lots of family. I’m going to have my Maid/Matron of Honor, a bridemaid, and one junior bridesmaid. My Fiance will ony have three as well. I’m having so much trouble figuring out who will be in my bridal party ( all besides my JBM my 10 year old sister will take that roll).
My best friend is in the Air force stationed in Texas I live in Maryland ( our home state). She said she will be attending the wedding but when I asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor she said she doesn’t know yet. I know she wants to be it. I just know she can’t rely on how much she will be able to travel. What should I do? Should I ask a girl to be my back-up MOH? or should I just choose someone else? I don’t even know who will be the third person in my bridal party. I’m not close to a lot of people and I want the people I choose to be in my wedding to be a big part of my life.
**Any advice you have will really be helpful**
Post # 3
You have a couple options…
Wait and see if she can make it, if she can great! If she can’t, move your Bridesmaid or Best Man to Maid/Matron of Honor and you could just have her and your JBM (I know people get hung up on even numbers, but really why)
Another option is to ask someone else but only if you truly think they should be your Maid/Matron of Honor.
I strongly feel that you should not have people in your wedding party to just to fill a spot. They should be people that mean something to you and will be you through out the wedding planning and on the day.
Asking someone to be a standby Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor could be a bit of a slap in the face, like being told you are on the B list.
Post # 4
Thank you for your advice! You are so right. I really don’t want to offend any of my friends!
Post # 5
I asked my brothers. I don’t have a lot of girl friends and I didn’t want to ask some random person. I did end up with one girl for a bridesmaid, mostly because my little brother begged me not to make him hold my skirt up while I went to the bathroom and because my other brother said he wasn’t sure he was up to throwing a bridal shower…LOL 🙂 But you don’t have to worry about the numbers matching at all, so if you end up with only 2 people that you really care about, that’s perfect!
Post # 6
That is true about the numbers! I just always thought they had to match! I just found out that my friend in the Airforce is being stationed in Germany at the end of Febuary
:(. I already asked her to be the maid of honor and doubt she will even be able to attend. I’m going to give her time because she just found out about shipping out yesterday! So i figure I will just ask my other friend I know can attend to be my Bridesmaid or Best Man and if my friend in the Airforce can’t attend I will bump my other friend up. Or should I let them both be MOH?
Post # 7
I don’t know that you actually need to ‘bump’ anyone up if your air force friend can’t attend. If your air force friend is your best friend, I’d leave the spot for her. If she can’t attend then it shouldn’t really affect anything. All the Maid/Matron of Honor really needs to do is hold your flowers and sign your license. Your bridesmaid can still do that.
I think what I’m trying to say (but badly) is that if this is your best friend and you want to honour her, I would let her have the honour if she can be there or not.
Post # 8
Numbers don’t have to match – I’ve got 4 BMs and my Fiance has only 2 GMs.
With that being said, if you want her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, do it, but realize things may not come together (like bridal showers, unless someone else plans).
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my one sister, who lives 7+ housr away and just had a baby. I knew she would be busy and not be able to help, but I want her there that day for me. With the help of my Mom and other sister (who is also a BM), they planned a shower and she is planning to attend (which is 10 hours away from her, about 3 from me).
Of my three BMs, none have really helped or done much. My other sister just says which she likes better (sometimes), my BFF does help out when she can, but she’s busy, and my Future Sister-In-Law is always having a reason not to do things.
So – don’t worry if they can help out or not, and don’t worry about the wedding. If she can’t make it, do odd numbers, and have her there in spirit.