(Closed) Bridesmaid HELP! Thinking about giving her the boot…. (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Boot her. But be aware she will most likely be offended. I would say something like, “You seem awfully busy, and I since I don’t want my wedding to be a burden on you, you’re not a bridesmaid anymore. We hope you can still make it though!” or something like that. Other posters will most likely give you better answers, and if not, I know this topic is very popular, so there are references elsewhere on this site. Good luck!

Post # 4
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would probably approach it more with a, “You seem really busy lately and since I haven’t heard from you, you haven’t returned calls or emails, I’m wondering if you’d rather not be a bridesmaid in my wedding?  I hate to sound pushy, but if the dress isn’t purchased by (give a date), I’ll have no choice but to ask someone else to stand up with me.”  That way, it puts it on HER. 

If she still doesn’t reply, I would wait a few days and then follow up with a final call/email, telling her you can no longer have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 5
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with the other replies.  I’m kind of in the same boat with one of my girls.  I don’t know what to do either!  It sucks!

Post # 6
1231 posts
Bumble bee

Sheesh, that’s annoying! Honestly, she may not have a choice about not being in the wedding if she doesn’t have a dress! (maybe she’s doing that on purpose to get out of it?) I would give her an easy out. You seem really busy, if you don’t think you will be able to participate in the wedding, I understand completely. I hope you still come to the wedding.  It’s no doubt going to feel uncomfortable, but there is no reason for you to continue stressing about it. I think it will only make you resent her and put a strain on your friendship. Good luck!

Post # 7
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would just tell her, “It’s really time to order your dress now. Please have it done by Friday, I’ve heard wind that the style/color may be discontinued and since the other girls have already ordered, I don’t want you to end up in another dress.”

And see what she says and what happens. If she STILL doesn’t do it, then you can have a conversation with her about her desire to be in the wedding. (Look, I know you love me and that money is tight… But all I’ve asked of you is to get this dress ordered and you still haven’t done it. It’s really stressing me out.)

Some people are just flaky like that. It sucks, but they exist. One of my BMs is one… She is just flaky on everything (but GENUINELY wants to be a BM) luckily, she’s my FI’s friend so I send the nice email and he texts her saying, “Yo, L, you’re making my life miserable. Get your dress ordered.)

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