Post # 1
So, some of you know a previous thread of mine where I was having some trouble with my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Am I a Bridezilla??
I just got back from my 2nd fitting, where one of my bridesmaids came with me and it turned out that it was my final fitting and she learned how to lace me up and bustle me. This bridesmaid has been there every step of the way. Only missing one event and she planned the whole baccelorette party. I got the feeling to night that she would really like the honor of being the Maid/Matron of Honor and she really deserves it. I could tell my current Maid/Matron of Honor that it doesn’t seem like she has time to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and she can still be a bridesmaid, but not a Maid/Matron of Honor, but I do not know if I want to ruffle those feathers now. So, I came up with this solution…
My Maid/Matron of Honor has been married before (currently divorced) so technically she is a Matron of Honor, right?? I could say she is the Matron of Honor and make my other bridesmaid the Maid of Honor. This is the only way I could think of to honor someone who has done a lot of work for me, while not hurting the feelings of the other one.
Do you think this would work?
Post # 3
Yeah, I think that would definitely work, because you are not taking away the honor from one person, you are just adding an honor for another.
Post # 4
Ok, so in my search online of the difference between a Maid of honor and a Matron of Honor I found the only difference to by that a Matron of Honor is married. My Maid/Matron of Honor is divorced and has two children, so would I call her a Maid or Matron?
And if it turns out that I should go with Maid instead of Matron, would it be weird if I have 2 Maid of Honors?
Post # 5
No, it wouldn’t be weird to have 2 MOHs. At least I don’t think so! LOL I think that your idea is a perfect comprimise – you don’t hurt any feelings but you lift up someone who has helped you a lot! Great idea!
Post # 6
I think you came up with a pretty agreeable solution. And if it’s Matron and Maid or two Maids isn’t a big deal.
Post # 7
IMO, the honor position is to honor a person who is close to you, not for the things they do for your wedding. It’s not, however, a reason to take away the title. Hurt and anger will likely follow if you do.
That being said, I feel for you that your original Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t there for you. Your co-MOH idea is a good one. Ask your other friend to be a Maid of Honor and if anyone asks why you have two, smile and simply say that you have two close friends that you wanted to recognize on your special day.
Post # 8
Just as a clarification….I don ot want to take a title away from my curent Maid/Matron of Honor because I do not want to stir up feelings. And I would not take a title away from her simply because she did not help me with anything. In that last 7 months I have seen her a total of once. And I started thinking to myself that if it weren’t for my wedding we would have probably lost touch. When I chose her as Maid/Matron of Honor we were fairly close, but at the time we saw each other almost every day. Now, I make the effort to see her, but she does not do the same.
In addition, I have become increasingly closer to this other bridesmaid. She has been a very good friend to me, not just a good bridesmaid. She has been there to listen to my problems as of late and has given me great emotional support. That is why I want to honor her.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
No matter what you decide I would find time to meet wiht her alone and give her a special gift or let her know how much you appreciate her going above and beyond. I have 2 MOHs and one definitely does more "work" than the other and I wanted to find a way to show her how much I appreicate it. Good luck!
Post # 10
I have two bridesmaids that have both been more active then my Maid/Matron of Honor. I have actually grown closer to one of those bridesmaids as well. I’m not planning on demoting my Maid/Matron of Honor though, I just refer to on bridesmaid as my "chief midwest bridesmaid" and the other as my "chief east coast bridesmaid".
I think dorsay’s idea of giving her a special gift is great. I was thinking of taking my chiefs to a special dinner or something afterwards.
Post # 11
I actually have been spoiling her with gifts already. I work for a hair care company and I believe in treating anyone who helps me with anything 😉