(Closed) Bridesmaid Help/Vent

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yikes, I’m sorry she put you in that situation. It’s really nice when brides want to pay for your dress, it’s definitely not required, but it seems self-serving in this case. I would just say, “Thanks, but I’m not planning on paying for the dresses for my bridesmaids, so I’d feel more comfortable if I could pay you back for the dress.” If she insists on paying, that’s fine, but that doesn’t mean you then have to pay for hers.

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you ask her budget before picking out the $150 dress?  Even if you did, perhaps her budget has changed if she’s putting up a lot of money toward her own wedding.  I can’t imagine paying to be in the wedding party for someone else at the same time as planning my own that I’m 100% funding with my FI.  Being in the wedding party is expensive, so maybe she simply can’t afford it and is trying to let you know that without having to outright say it and embarrass herself.  I certainly wouldn’t hold finances against anyone in my wedding party… they’re my friends, for cryin out loud!  

Post # 5
Member
45627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ditto with the first response. It’s unfortunate that we are not able to respond with what we really want to say when these things are sprung upon us.

Call her up and tell her that you are not comfortable with this arrangement, that you will be paying for the dress and shoes  for her wedding as you will be expecting the same of your wedding party.

If she absolutely refuses to accept the money,mail her a cheque.If she doesn’t cash it, give her a $65 credit against the dress and shoes for your wedding.

Post # 7
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think CaliHoya had the right idea.  I wouldn’t mention anything about the disparity in prices between the dresses for your respective weddings, just make it that you aren’t buying anyone else’s dress for yours, so you’d feel uncomfortable with that arrangement.

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