(Closed) Bridesmaid here- bride DOESN'T want me to lose weight.. (Poll)

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What would you reccommend
    Do the program anyway, it is YOUR health : (330 votes)
    100 %
    Hold off for 10 months, risk losing momentum : (0 votes)
  • Post # 31
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Congrats on your weight loss! What is the cut of the dress? In fairness to the bride, if your goal weight is 130 that would put you at a size 0-6 depending on your height and body shape. If you ordered a dress in size 12 and need it altered down to a 6, depending on the cut of the dress that might turn into a whole thing. Especially if it’s disscontinued. That might explain her “oh shit” reaction. OBVIOUSLY as your friend she should be happy for you, and really should have just kept her mouth shut for the time being. Sometimes people behave badly when they are stressed. And I think you should continue with your journey regardless of the dress. The worst case scenario is really just that you’ll spend more $ in alterations than planned and that maybe the dress might never fit you perfectly / might always be a little big/ odd looking but honestly no one looks at how dresses fit the bridesmaids. No one cares. They will be looking at the bride!

    Post # 32
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Your ‘friend’ is a grade A asshole. I cannot imagine asking someone on a healthy eating and exercising kick to stop it for ten months to fit in a stupid dress for one day. Nope nope and nope. I’d be reevaluating the friendship personally, however just assure her that the damn dress can be tailored. Is she like that bridezilla in that email that went around a while ago who forbade certain BMs from losing weight as they weren’t to be thinner than her? Crazytown.

    Post # 33
    11585 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Yeah there is no way you should stop doing something healthy for you because of a dress. Just no. Your friend will get over it. 🙂 



    Post # 34
    193 posts
    Blushing bee

    Holy macaroni!  I will keep my thoughts to myself about your friend since you asked us to be kind….  I will say that you should enjoy your continued healthy weight loss and don’t think twice about that silly dress!

    Post # 36
    1148 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    Ugh one of those brides -_- it’s your body. Do what is better for YOU. Her wedding is a one day event and you can get your dress altered lol. I’d ignore her and continue the program, in the end she’s making a big deal out of nothing.

    Post # 37
    1065 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

    doubledouble08 :  you do what’s best for you, yes tell the bride you will pay for the alterations.  Explain to the bride you are worried about gaining weight and dress not fitting.  Unfortunately she is in wedding mode, just remember your best friend is still in there, you go girl xx


    Post # 38
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    doubledouble08 :  I’m really glad that 100% answered to do what you need to do for your health. You can get your dress altered to fit your body, congratulations on your weight loss and it sounds like you want a lifestyle change, not a fad diet. That’s good! Don’t let your friend bring you down and keep up the good work! 

    P.S. I’m about to start an 8 week boot camp here soon!

    Post # 39
    49 posts
    • Wedding: May 2017

    doubledouble08 :  As a big girl, I always say my body size is no one else’s business. If a friend told you to lose weight for her wedding, I’d be angry on your behalf.  Her telling you not to lose weight ruffles my feathers just as much.  Your body size is NOT her business.  Not to mention that her concern isn’t about whether weight losss is a good idea for you, it’s only about the dress.   A good tailor/seamstress can do amazing things with enough time.  I would reccomend going to a tailor early and shop around to get a few opinions.  Say, I’m in the process of losing weight and I’m going to need to be able to wear this dress in July.  Ask them for their opinion on how small they can make it.

    Post # 40
    10027 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Fuck the dress!

    Its a dress! This is your life! Get your healthy bod on, girl!

    Post # 41
    9595 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I hope this is a joke post! Of course do the program! Dresses can be altered. Your friend is insane!

    Post # 42
    2774 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    doubledouble08 :  I have a colleague and friend who works with weight loss issues on the psychological side. She describes a funny syndrome that most of her patients go through as “how your close family and friends will try to sabotage you on the quest to losing weight.” I’ve asked her multiple times how that works since at the beginning, when she first mentioned it, I had a hard time believing it could happen. She always tells me that most people will react to anyone’s weight loss depending on how it affects THEM. So some friends will start feeling ‘threatened’ cuz they had dismissed you as a threat to their relationship, but the more attractive you feel and the more you come to grips with your newly discovered sense of sensuality bam, those friends start being cattier and bitchier. Some people will push food on you ‘hey friend want a bite of this yummy cake?’ ‘Nah, not thanks I’m on a diet,’ ‘oh but just one little tiny piece…’ Or they’ll start saying things like ‘c’mon one piece doesn’t hurt ANYONE,’ etc, etc.

    The sabotage can be subtle or it can be very overt so you have to be on the lookout and remind yourself that IF your weight loss disrupts others’ plans, lives, visions of themselves, visions they have of who you are, friend status or WHATEVER…it’s their issue Bee, not yours. You are doing what is right for YOU. That’s your job, looking/seeking/procuring more wellbeing for yourself. You’re also doing a great job at it. And no, it’s not the number on the scale that counts, it’s everything else. A DRESS is not more important than your increased wellbeing. You are much better than a hanger. You know, you hang the dress there and it looks pretty. Or matchy matchy. Or coordinates with other formal dresses. You are a person! 

    So if you are asked to slow you roll, step down cuz you don’t have a dress anymore, can’t be a bridesmaid cuz you couldn’t rebuild the dress or whatever…it’s ok. You’re doing you and doing a damn fine job at it. She can do her thing too. 

    Post # 43
    716 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Oh my god your health is always the most important thing. WAY more important than a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.

    Post # 44
    4533 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    doubledouble08 :   the bride made a really silly decision in ordering dresses so early on….she set herself up for something like this tbh. Expecting multiple women to stay the same size for a year+ is cray cray. That is why the turn around time for bridesmaid dresses is always 3-4months at bridal salons!!

    She is being totally unreasonable to ask you to delay your health kick for 10 months because she made a mistake on her dress choice. Would she expect ladies to hold off on getting pregnant too? Do what is best for your health and worry about alterations when the time comes!! Congrats on the changes you’ve made already….losing weight isn’t easy and it sounds like you’ve been very successful so far!!! 

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