Post # 1
i am getting married next may and have 4 BMs. one of them is one of my best friends from college who i haven’t been able to see in a few years because she lives out of state. up until recently (the last 6 months or so) we were calling and skyping frequently. lately, she ignores my calls, texts, and emails, or gets back to be over a week later with one word answers. i am moving even further away in 3 months, and have been trying to make plans to get together with her for about a year, but she always claims she can’t get work off or has no money (even though i have offered to go see her). in the last two weeks i have sent her 3 texts and she hasn’t answered. i ordered my wedding dress over a month ago and emailed her pictures when i got home, but she never responded and is usually very excited about those things.
now that i am starting to look for BMs dresses, i am getting concerned that she will be unresponsive. i am also concerned that she is going to find excuses not to come up for wedding related things (or even that she might back out last minute). i really do not think she wants to be in the wedding anymore, and even though i would love to have her in it everything is very one-sided and awkward now. she is basically ignoring me.
what should i do??
Post # 3
is it possible something is going on in her life that is preoccupying her? My best friend has been MIA lately, not responding to texts or emails or calls, but I know she’s working 60-70 hours a week and trying to plan her own wedding on top of it. Might be worth checking in with her on a general level to see how she’s doing, rather than trying to talk to her about your wedding.
Post # 4
Join the club. I have had a least a Bridesmaid or Best Man not return texts or calls and my Maid/Matron of Honor. It was soooo frustrating. But I ended up talking to them and told them I know u are busy, but as soon as u could, please respond back about wedding stuff. I mean I had a span of 2 weeks between the time I texted and the time one of them responded! Quite annoying. And one of them I asked for a pic for the wedding website, never heard anything from her about it. I just picked one from her FB page.
This is another reason y Im doing most of the planning by myself. They are too busy and I can get alot done if I dont have to rely on busy gals!
Anyway, worst case scenario, pull her out of the wedding party, but see if u can reach her. Do u want to go through this while planning?? If she was interested, she would have called u.
Post # 5
@starbuck: i actually haven’t spoken to her about the wedding in months, other than sending her the dress pictures. i know she is sensitive about being single so i don’t mention any wedding related things. the last text i said her was something like “hey, haven’t heard from you in a while, are you alive?” and no response, but she is definitely alive.
Post # 6
@lkat321: this is a tough one. She could be avoiding you just because she doesn’t want to talk about wedding stuff (i.e. she really doesnt want to be in the wedding) or something could be going on. My Bridesmaid or Best Man stopped responding to me for like a week and when I finally got in touch with her.. she had been sick! So you might not want to push too hard in any case. Just keep trying to get in touch with her..
Post # 7
@MrsNeutrino: i am definitely going to keep trying. i just don’t know at what point will it not be worth the effort? if she doesn’t come around i think i will just tell her not to worry about being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and please still be a guest? its been like this for quite a while
Post # 8
@lkat321: that sounds like a good plan. If she is dodgy about talking Bridesmaid or Best Man stuff though.. I honestly think she might make promises to come to the wedding and not. I have a friend like her.. She is a great girl and I would love for her to be at my wedding.. but I know she wouldn’t show. She literally lives 45 mins away and I haven’t seen her in MONTHS. Even when she says she is coming over (i.e. Thanksgiving DAY) she didn’t AND ignored my phone calls. I am not even going to stress myself with asking her to be in my wedding.. its not worth the hassle. It seems that you intentions are are good and you want someone close to you to stand by your side but it doesn’t seem like she is up for that responsibility.