(Closed) Bridesmaid Invite Not "Personal" enough…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your friend has been watching too much reality TV. Graciously accept her declining your invitation to your bridal party and move on. If it was only a Facebook request I’d see her point, but you asked her in person over lunch, and that’s perfectly personal and normal (I asked one of mine over beers at our neighborhood dive).  Maybe buy her a good book for her next birthday so she’ll have a reason to turn off the reality shows. She’s obviously confused Four Weddings with how the world works! 


Post # 4
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

That sounds ridiculous. Is this girl usually a drama queen? What did want, you to wriite “Will you be my bridesmaid” in the sky with fireworks.


Post # 5
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Ms. Drgnfly:  Your friend is an asshole. That’s it.

I was enaged August 4. 2012. I didn’t ask bridesmaids until June of this year. I kind of figured that the girls I was asking knew just because we had talked about bridesmaidsy things. But to clarify, I sent each a text lol. Sure, I wanted to do something cutesy. But whatever, didn’t happen.

All of them were THRILLED and are so excited to be a part of our wedding.

Again, your friend is an asshole.

Post # 6
123 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not really sure why a good friend would feel the need to have such a grand invitation, especially since you already asked her very personally. When one of my best friends got engaged she asked me via Facebook chat, but just said “Wait, do I actually have to ask you to be in the wedding? You know you’re a bridesmaid right?” I wasn’t offended at all. The fact that she wanted me in her wedding was personal enough. 

It sucks that she hurt your feelings, but it kind of sounds like you dodged a bullet on a diva bridesmaid.

Post # 7
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Really? I just sent each of my maids a text asking if they’d do it. For my Maid/Matron of Honor I texted her right after I got engaged and basically said “FI asked me to marry him, here’s a picture of the ring, you’re my Maid/Matron of Honor.” The others I at least asked if they’d do it, even if we’d talked about it before.

Post # 8
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Seriously? Someone has been watching too much TV and looking at Pinterest too much. That is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.

Post # 9
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh man, it sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet.  If she’s this fussy over being asked, just imagine what she would be like when she actually had to do stuff! Consider yourself lucky and move on! *hugs*

Post # 10
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That’s pretty sociopathic. How committed are you to the idea of including her? I mean, she’s giving you a lot of grief over nothing already, and we have more than enough brides writing desperates threads about pain-in-the-ass bridesmaids to see where this is probably going… I would walk away and send her the regular invitation she asked for. I do wish you the best of luck, and I hope you’ll find truly supportive friends to stand by you on your big day. 

Post # 11
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with the above posters +++. A true friend – or even a reasonable, normal person – would not expect you to go through this rigmarole. I have no clue where someone would get such a bloody stupid idea.

Take her at her word, make her a guest only and breathe a sigh of relief.

Post # 12
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ms. Drgnfly:  seriously?? Your friend is ridiculous. I know Pinterest is responsible for making women think that an elaborate invite accompanied with a gift is owed to a potential bridesmaid from the bride…and it’s completely silly. You know how I asked my best girlfriends to be bridesmaids? Through a three second text message that said “you’re gonna be a bridesmaid right?” That’s it. And all of my friends were nothing but happy for me and to be in the wedding. 


I wouldn’t play into this situation, you haven’t done anything wrong. 

Post # 13
46 posts
  • Wedding: February 2013

Can you just imagine what a nightmare she’d be with dress shopping or taking the time out of her self-important life to be there for you on your big day? In summary, your friend is an asshole.

Post # 14
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I sent mine text messages of dresses and asked if they’d like to wear them. They were both thrilled. What is it with some people’s sky high expecations now!?

Post # 15
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ms. Drgnfly:  I agree with everyone else. What a self-entitled b1tch. Accept her resignation and move on. Though if it was me I wouldn’t be able to resist expressing my disappointment.

Is it possible that either or both of the two other girls could be bridesmaids anyway? Like ask them on the condition that they have do nothing, literally nothing, except get ready with you on your wedding day, wear a bridesmaid dress, and stand next to you at the wedding? Because they sound like dear friends, and the most important is simply that they are there for you on your wedding day.

Post # 16
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Ms. Drgnfly:  that’s really weird. You’re probably better off without her negativity in it. 

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