Post # 1
Ok so my FH brother is the bestman, his wife is a bridesmaid. She is 3 months pregnant due 3/28/12 and my wedding is 5/26/12. Since they are both in the wedding how will it work with the newborn, I have a feeling they will rely a lot on my future mother in law, which isn’t fair because she is a big part of the wedding to and this is the first big wedding any of her children have had. What do i do? I know she has mentioned the baby being there so I dont think she plans to get a babysitter but i dont think its a good idea to have the baby there… How do I say that in not a rude way. Plus when will she be able to buy a dress? We are going to order the dresses in a few months by then she will be 6 or 7months pregnant. OMG HELP What do i do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Let her figure it out but typically babies around that age stay pretty close to mom, especially if they’re still breastfeeding. If you really want to help her out with figuring out what to do with the baby at the wedding then ask around, maybe her parents would be interested in watching the baby that night or they may be willing to attend the wedding and care for the newborn while your SIL does her duties.
Post # 4
sorry but it’s a newborn so I would never expect her not to bring her baby along. If it’s her first kid she’s probably not goign to be leaving it with a babysitter either – I wouldn’t be. If I had to leave my newborn or not attend, I would not attend – bridesmaid or not. Newborns are way easier to deal with at a wedding than a toddler. They sleep most of the day and wake up and cry when they need food or a new diaper. I’m sure your Mother-In-Law (or other trusted family member) will be watching the baby during the ceremony and remove it if it cries. After the ceremony, it really doesn’t matter. No one will hear a crying baby over the music . The baby I’m sure will be sleeping the entire time and you won’t even know its there.
Post # 5
If she plans on breastfeeding her child then I would not ask her to leave him at home. I had to leave my child at 3 months for work and it was horrible for him and for me. Like others have said, newborns sleep most of the time and it is much easier for the parents to deal with than a toddler. I don’t think it will be a bad thing. Just enjoy your day!
Post # 6
Find a trusted friend to hold the baby in the church, seated in the back row or near an exit. If the baby gets fussy, that person can make a quick exit (I’d make it a friend, so if they had to miss part of the wedding it’s not like your Future Mother-In-Law is the one leaving).
Order a dress a few sizes too big from what you need, and she can have it sized down. Most Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses need alterations so this shouldn’t be too bad.
Post # 7
If she is breastfeeding there is no way she can leave the child at home. Sorry.
I think you should invite your SIL’s mother, so that she can mind the baby during the ceremony and photos. You want the best person possible for this, and if baby’s mum and dad are in the ceremony then a grandmother is next best, and I don’t think it’s fair for the mother of the groom to have to do it.
Post # 8
@sng0926: this is something the mother will work out. no offense, but you have a lot of other things to worry about if a newborn baby is stressing you out.
Post # 9
I definitely wouldn’t say anything negative to the bridesmaid/FSIL. Just ask her if it would make it easier on her with the newborn if she could invite her mother.
Post # 10
@sng0926: similar situation with one of my bridesmaids – wedding is in may, she’s due in feb, her husband is in the wedding. We just went and selected dresses last weekend – they will be ordered in nov, but she got advice on sizing at the salon (basically she’s going with a size that would fit now, then planning to alter down). we haven’t discussed day of wedding childcare, but she lives locally so may already have someone who watches him. I have other bridal members with kids and we want an adult reception, so I’ve been thinking about hiring someone (a friend or two who wouldn’t be at the wedding) to provide babysitting on site in another room.
also, i agree with karinith – don’t stress yourself. this is a small detail
Post # 11
My ring bearer is 4 and quite a handful. His mom is a bridesmaid and she asked if she could bring an extra guest to keep a eye on him during the ceremony and reception. I quickly agreed because it solved the problem as easy as can be. I would talk to your fh brother and sil about asking someone to come with them to take care of the baby while they and mil are busy. The baby is still at the wedding so there is no drama and you look like a great aunt making accomodations for your new niece or nephew.
Post # 12
I would ask her to invite a trusted friend to lend a hand with the baby, or hire a babysitter (at your expense) to be an extra set of hands. If you go with a babysitter, treat her/him like a guest and seat her with the bridal party for dinner. That way, mom doesn’t have to leave the baby for an extended time but still has someone available and responsible to step in if mom wants to dance, mingle, etc. I know it’s an expense but the cost of a babysitter and one more plate is well worth it if it takes the burden off of your Future Mother-In-Law and keeps baby safe and well-cared-for.
Post # 13
@paula1248: +1 on inviting FSIL’s mother.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I love the idea about inviting her mother to the wedding as well, as babysitter if she wasn’t already on the guest list, or see if she wants to invite a friend as babysitter, etc.
Someone obviously is going to have to watch/hold the child during the ceremony, and I hate the idea of it being your FMIL- if the baby cries, she’d miss out on the ceremony.
Post # 15
If it’s your niece/nephew and she is breastfeeding, there’s not a lot to be done. They could have a sitter hold the baby outside the ceremony in case it cries, but beyond that, they probably need to be together.
It isn’t your job (or really your place) to arrange child care for them. But it would probably be a good idea to ask them what they are planning on doing to ensure there isn’t a crying infant at the ceremony.