(Closed) Bridesmaid Issue

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend.  But I have two sisters also.  My Maid/Matron of Honor would back down in a heartbeat if she though one of my sisters were broken hearted over it.  If your friend is your best friend she will understand that you are having your sister as your Maid/Matron of Honor.  Just talked to her and it will work out.

Post # 4
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

My sister considered having her best friend be a co-MOH with me and while I supported her out loud, I was silently really happy that she didn’t do this. Her best friend hasn’t always been there for her and has made some really bad decisions in her life that put a big strain on my sister. In addition to that, the BF’s husband is a very dangerous convict she refuses to leave, but it would have complicated the wedding even further since he wasn’t invited to any of the events. Plus the Boyfriend or Best Friend has 3 small children and has to support them on ehr own since the husband is constantly in jail and as you probably guessed doesn’t pay any child support or contribute at all financially. Which obviously meant the Boyfriend or Best Friend could barely even make it to part of her shower, forget the bachelorette or rehearsal dinner.

Post # 5
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had the same issue and ended up asking both. My sister isn’t in the wedding anymore (long story), but she and my Boyfriend or Best Friend both said they would have understood if I had not asked either one of them (does that make sense). A true friend will understand, and your sister will always be your sister, so think hard and do what feels right for you!


EDIT: Maybe your friend could do a reading if you’re having them? Or do what my BFs other bestie did when I was her Maid/Matron of Honor – she was super, super helpful with planning everything and helping me figure out details for the shower, bach party etc. i really appreciated the help and she got to be a big part of planning.

Post # 6
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My best friend has an older sister with whom she has always had a close, but contentious relationship and her older sister isn’t always that supportive. That being said, my best friend has told me numerous times that Older Sister will be her Maid/Matron of Honor and I have no problem with that. If your friend would try and make you choose between them or make you feel bad about your choice, I don’t think that’s very nice. I agree with cincity- just tell her you love her and are so excited to have her in your wedding and let her know also that your sister will be Maid/Matron of Honor. I am sure she will understand.

Post # 7
4824 posts
Honey bee

There is definitely a different between understanding and still being disappointed, and just not understanding. Your friend may understand, but she will probably be disappointed. I dont think you can avoid that. But, as a friend she will be OK with being disappointed because for most siblings a sister is something a friend can’t “compete” (for lack of a better word) with.  

Possibly you could ask for friend to do a few special things with you such as a few DIY projects or show shopping that only the two of you do so she knows how much she means to you, even if she is not Maid/Matron of Honor.

My FSILs are not in my wedding because my step-sister is not.  My full sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. My FSIL’s were so upset that every single one of my other brides maids(4) offered to step down so my FSILs could stand.  While that was not an option for me it showed me that I really chose the people who care about me to stand with me. Hopefully she is that kind of friend to you as well.

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