(Closed) Bridesmaid issue

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If mutually, your MOH and you decide she will not be in the wedding, who pays for dress, ect?
    You split cost 50-50 and she keeps her dress & shoes. : (2 votes)
    13 %
    She pays and keeps dress & shoes. : (6 votes)
    40 %
    You pay and take dress & shoes. : (5 votes)
    33 %
    You pay and she gets to keep dress & shoes. : (2 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    241 posts
    Helper bee

    Well thats an open question so without knowing any details I would say, speak face to face and try to work it out.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    There is still time before the wedding, is there no chance of patching things up?  Do you still want her in the wedding? 

    If you say she’s changed and doesn’t want to have anything to with you then I would say it’s time to ask her to step down.  You wouldn’t want her standing for you anyways.  You will probably have to pay for the dress but I might be a tad sneaky and wait until she asks or until after the wedding until you’ve had time to save some money for it.  Are the shoes at least returnable?  Or the dress?

    Post # 8
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    As for replacing her, you don’t have to.  It’s happened where brides have multiple MOH’s or none at all if they couldn’t pick.  Don’t worry about that part!  I’m sorry it’s stressing you out.  Problems always seem to.  I think you should call her today and say yes, you would like her out of the wedding.  And give her the choice to return the dress to you by “X’ day and you’ll refund the money or she can keep it.  I would follow up the phone call with an email.  That way you make sure you have it in writing your communication about it.  Make sure to preface the email by stating it is the follow up to the VM or conversation you two had.  Do you know when the shoes were bought?  If there is time to meet the refund policy then I would tell her also in the email you expect her to meet that date or you are not responsible.

    You probably don’t want to hear it but there is a bright side, this happened before the wedding so at least she won’t be in all your pictures.  It’s only been two months since our wedding but I’m sad for the pictures we have of people we had a falling out with.  Bound to happen I guess.

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid issue’ is closed to new replies.

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