(Closed) Bridesmaid Issue..

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

Call  her up and don’t mention a word about the wedding.  Just ask her how she is and what you can do for her.  Not a word about the wedding.

If she needs to drop out, she will.  Let her decide if it is too much for her.  She could EASILY hear in your questions that you want her to offer to drop out.

If this were my wedding, she would be a Bridesmaid or Best Man whether she was there or not.  She would be listed in my program and the minister would mention she can’t be with us today because she is caring for her ill mother.  I would send her bouquet to her with a big happy card and tell her I missed her, I loved her, and that she is where she needs to be.  She would still be my Bridesmaid or Best Man regardless if she was present or not.

Post # 4
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mrg1005:  I think, because you’re so close, she won’t think you’re being rude. She’ll know you’re literally only saying it because you want her to do whats best for HER, so just be honest: “I’m so sorry about your mom. I understand if you want to take the next few months to focus on her, entirely. With that said, if you still want to be in the wedding, please know that I certainly still want you to be! I just want you to do what’s best for you.”

Post # 5
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@hermom:  +1

Post # 7
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Leave it as-is but keep you Bridesmaid or Best Man demands low.  Make it super easy for her to get her dress, don’t be demanding about any extras such as paying for hair and makeup, attending a bachelorette party, etc.  Make it clear that all she needs is the right dress and to show up at the wedding.  Everything else is optional.  I’m sure she wants to be in your wedding.  The best way to be supportive is to make it as hassle-free as possible for her.

I don’t think it would be nice to suggest that she drop out just because her mom is sick.  That should make zero difference unless she can’t actually attend your ceremony.

Post # 8
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@californiaraisin:  +1. Perfect way to say it. You’re doing the right thing 🙂

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