(Closed) Bridesmaid issue and help needed

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Talk to her over a coffee or something, and explain to her that your FI’s cousin is moving there and family comes first. I’m sure she has also noticed that your friendship has "fizzled", so it may not be that much of a surprise to her. Just tell her you need the numbers to be even, and you must include your FI’s cousin before any friends. Tell her that she can still help with your wedding in other ways if she wants, and that you will still include her in the events (bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.).

Post # 5
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m a big believer in if you asked, then don’t unask.  I think it’s kind of mean.  Unless she invited herself to be in the wedding party, I see no compelling reason to unask her.  She was very nice to say yes, and made a big committment to you in doing so.  I imagine her feelings would be very hurt and may not even come to the wedding if you unask her.  Is it really worth that?

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

 I generally follow the same principals as doctorgirl. 

You still have 10 month until your wedding.  You have all the girls’ dresses.  You also asked girls to be your BMs long enough ago to allow this particular relationship have time to fizzle out.  Would it be fair to say you came off your proposal with an extra helping of overeagerness, that looking back…you’d do differently?

If the relationship has fizzled, I think the best thing you can do is get together with her and chat.  Mention to her that you to haven’t been connecting too much lately.  Try to catch up with her and see if she’s still OK to be in the wedding.  Does she still want to be?  Is there anything else going on, that caused her to lose touch?  Perhaps she isn’t interested in being a Bm anymore.  However, I think if she is, you should allow her to be.

And my own opinion, is that telling her she’s out by using family as trump, isn’t a good idea.  I think the best move is feeling the situation out to see if she wants to be in the wedding, and allowing her to do so if she is.  But if you are dead set against having her, I think the only way you should pose it, is that you have grown apart. Or take your lumps and say you made a mistake.  That’s it.  Don’t bring another person into the mix.  I don’t know if I can put my finger on it.  But it kind of comes across like you’re not owning your actions.

Post # 7
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with Doctorgirl as usual. I sort of think it would be mighty rude. Why don’t you just add another Bridesmaid or Best Man to include your cousin? You can have as many as you want you know 😉

Post # 10
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

CEO528 I’m so glad you’ve worked this out and you’re reconnecting w/ your Bridesmaid or Best Man 🙂

Post # 12
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

im having problems with this to but mine was a moh issue and now she is a bridemaid but if there is more dramma I will just tell her your out.  Talk to her and tell her she hasn’t been there for you some one more deserving should recieve the title.

Post # 13
169 posts
Blushing bee

just tell her u re not close anymore so you d rather not have her its really not that big of a deal I m sure she ll be relieved and in fact maybe even happy about it

Post # 14
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Glad to hear things are looking up, CEO!

The topic ‘Bridesmaid issue and help needed’ is closed to new replies.

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