(Closed) Bridesmaid Issue. Any Advice is Welcome!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
12257 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would assume she won’t be there. Especially if she’s being difficult to get in touch with!

Post # 4
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like she doesn’t want to come anyways but just doesn’t know how to tell you. Tell your MOH to put her down as a no. If she truly wanted to come she would respond to your MOH.

Post # 5
2972 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would just say basically what you have enumerated here. “It is probably better if you just plan on not coming as we need a definite answer ASAP and we have a very strict timeline for the limousine. We can party at the wedding!”

Post # 6
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I know you don’t want to be rude or make her feel like she isn’t welcome but she could have the courtesy to answer you/call you back. I would let her know (in the nicest way possible) that you can’t include her in the limo since she does know for sure if she is attending. Maybe doing that will give you a quicker response!..

Post # 7
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

First things first, one bride to another: Your wedding is not the center of her world. You are her friend first, and a bride second. What that means is you need to respect the fact that she is coming from five hours away and trying to accomodate your wishes. Who cares what the MOH wants? I would just text your friend and tell her that you want her to have a nice, relaxing night at home instead of jumping in the car and racing to your party. And then, find a time when you guys can meet (maybe halfway?) when you can hang out before the wedding.

If you have been reaching out to her repeatedly and she isn’t responding, maybe something is going on in her life. Have you asked her if she’s okay? Not because you eed her to participate in your weddig stuff, but because you care bout her. And when you ask her, you are not allowed to bring up your wedding at all in teh conversation. Just ask her how she is, and listen. And if she brings up the wedding, tell her that you can talk about it another time but you want to hear about her.

You need to realize that the big issue here is that something is wrong with your friend. Maybe it’s money, or family, or health. But your wedding is not important to anyone but you. (Not trying to be harsh, the same thing is true about my wedding.)

Post # 8
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@RubyStar:  I agree that it’s rude not to respond, but if they’re friends, there has to be a reason this friend isn’t responding.

Post # 9
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I would have a hard time asking anyone to not only miss work, but dive 5 hours for a party.  Just tell her you think it’s too much to ask, and give her the out. Tell your MOH you don’t want to inconveniece her (or anyone) by asking them to do that, and that you don’t expect her there.

Post # 12
45627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@candy08:  I think your MOH is being  a bit harsh.  Her coming late would also interrupt the party activities.  ??? What’s with that attitude? Her coming late would involve no more than greeting her at the door like any other guest.

I am not absolving your bridesmaid of the rudeness she showed by not responding on time. She should have decided, by the rsvp date, if she was going to be able to make it or not. Her ability to get the time off or not, is not the problem of you or the MOH.

I would call her back and let her know that unless you get a commitment from her to attend tonight  so that you can give the info to the MOH for the final head count,you will have to assume that she is unable to make it. If she says she want to come for the last half of the celebration, she needs to understand that she is committing to her share of the expense for the limo, whether she arrives on time or not. There will be no waiting for her to arrive.

Post # 15
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@candy08:  You’re so sweet, after I hit send I felt like I totally blasted you and I didn’t mean to! Based on what you’ve said about her, I agree with the others who said you should just go ahead without her. Sometimes when you’re bad with responsiveness, it means you’ll miss out on fun things. And this may be one of those times for her.

I hoope you have an awesome party– it sounds like your MOH is doing an awesome job.

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