(Closed) Bridesmaid Issue -Help Needed

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
241 posts
Helper bee

Talk to her and tell her with the relationship you and him have being so bad, you aren’t really comfortable having him attend the happiest day of your life but you want to know how that would go over with her.

Post # 4
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just sit down with her and be completely honest.  Tell her your fears and let her step down if she wishes.

Post # 5
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would just tell her.  I’m sure she is already aware of the tension; maybe she would even rather not have him there because of the stress it would cause for her.  He probably wouldn’t be able to let her focus on you if he is the way he sounds.

Post # 7
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah this situation sucks.  Maybe she could stay in a hotel room with some other girls?  Maybe he would be okay with that? 

Post # 8
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

So funny you posted this–I have the same problem.  My bridesmaid’s boyfriend is basically a family enemy for lack of better words.  My mother brought to my attention that under no circumstances was this guy to be my maid’s plus one.  So after sitting on it for a long time, I decided to tell her that she didn’t get a plus one.  I have a blanket rule that you only get a plus one if the person is your spouse/fiance/live-in.  Since he doesn’t fit this bill, it was implied that he wouldn’t be coming.  Might this work for you?  If not, I’d just be straight up with her.  It’s not like she’s going to be surprised.

Post # 9
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I would tell her straight up that he can’t come. Tell her exactly why… she gave you information about him talking bad about you.. so it shouldn’t be a surprise to her that you’re upset. Although I doubt he will show up to the wedding if he’s not invited (guys are lazy, especially this one) BUT if he does, have someone responsible for kicking him out or calling the cops. It’s not right to have someone who doesn’t like you at your own wedding. Boo!

Post # 12
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I have a feeling this is going to be really difficult for you to tell her not to bring him. I think if you sit her down and tell her that, she’s going to decline being in the wedding, and you may even lose her as a friend. Do you really think this guy is going to ruin your day?

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