(Closed) Bridesmaid Issue

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Um, it sounds like these 2 girls aren’t even talking to you and are very much not good friends. I would write them an email letting them know that you have tried to contact them and apologize, but that now you are moving on. It doesn’t sound like they want to be your friend, but if they do, you don’t need "friends" like this in your life. Bridesmaids are friends first.

Post # 4
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree, you really don’t need friends like that.  Drunk or sober, your friends don’t talk sh*t about you.  Especially not in front of you!!  Even if they were disappointed about the amount of time they had to spend with you, that discussion could have waited until they were out of your house and on the way back to the airport.  Or they simply could have expressed their disappointment to you in a civil, mature fashion at a later time.

Being a Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t about drunken evenings in bars, which seems to be what these girls are into.  It can be a lot of fun, but it’s also a lot of work.  It’s about supporting and helping your friend on a very important day, and in the preparation for that day, and things don’t always go right.  When you have some kind of crisis that needs dealt with the day before the wedding, are you friends going to chip in and help make things work out, or are they going to get drunk and wonder aloud why they are even there?

I think you need to go ahead and cut them loose.  It doesn’t sound like it’s any great loss.  You should be polite about it – no sense in any more yelling – but let them know that you’ve rethought your decision, based on how badly the weekend went and all that has come after.  If they come to their senses and apologize later on, maybe they deserve an invitation to the wedding.  At this point, I would say that they don’t.

Post # 5
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Too much drama. Write them an email and say that you are done trying to apologize and that you’ve decided to only have three maids and your sure they’ll understand, since they don’t want to spend all that money anyway. They sound like horrible people. I wouldn’t even think about having them in your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
69 posts
Worker bee

MustangSally, I’m so sorry you went through this. I agree with the other commenters – send them an email saying that you’ve apologized, you wish them the best, but you’re done. No one deserves friends like that, and I can’t imagine that you want that amount of negativity or hurt at your wedding!

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Ok, I posted a comment and now it’s not here, but anyway, the whole thing sounds really weird to me. Even if you didn’t have them in your wedding, do you even want friends like this? It sounds like they’re 5 years old and looking for a way out. Why would they talk about you in front of you and in front of your fiance? It’s so weird. Definitely don’t have them in your wedding and don’t even be friends with them. You have other people that love you and want to be there and you want them there, so just have them. Eliminate these horrible people from your life! You don’t need them. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

It seems as though something is missing from this story – they just starting talking trash about you in front of you? Sounds weird.

However, I can’t imagine anything you could have done that would invite such mean spirited behavior.  I have no idea why you would want these girls in your wedding.  They should be out, end of story.  They are clearly not good friends, not anywhere near deserving to stand up with you on such an important day.  Find a way to graciously excuse them from the honor – gracious so as not to invite any more drama into something that is supposed to be special. 

Post # 10
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m awfully sorry too – it’s hard to have friends treat you badly.  Maybe they somehow thought it was funny – although it sounds hard to believe.  My DH’s sister is like that; she seems to think it’s really clever to cut people down, even when they are in the room.  And then she is always surprised when people don’t like her.

Anyway, I do think you need to cut them loose.  My wedding was last weekend, and I can tell you that I had a total crying-on-the-bathroom-floor meltdown the day before.  My Maid/Matron of Honor (no fault of her own) was nowhere to be found, but two of my good friends who weren’t even in the wedding fixed everything and were soooo much help. But you really need people around you that you can count on to make things better – not worse!! It sounds like you’re lucky enough to have some friends that you can count on, and those are the ones you should surround yourself with as you get ready for your big day.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid Issue’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors