- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2008
I decided to search the wedding websites for useful insight on bridesmaid dilemmas. Unfortunately, I discovered how selective and careful you want to be with your bridal party selection now, with my wedding happening in 4 months. As I can attest that I have not been a 100% all there bridesmaid, I do my duty and respect my boundaries. To make a long story short, I had my bridal party selected for some time now, at least a year and half. I booked my venue January 2007 for my August 2008 wedding, so the date was a final deal. My roomate from college, who was a dear friend to me in college, is gay, and her partner proposed to her in March of 2005. They had quite a long engagement compared to my engagement.
We both wanted to share the experiences of being in each others weddings. They decided the year 2008 was when they would have their civil union/wedding and booked their date 10 months after I had my date booked. We realized that with her wedding being 33 days before mine, it would be busy, but a happy kind of busy. My mother informed me at the beginning of March that my bridal shower was the first of June. At that point, I know this bridesmaid mentioned her mom was searching for her bridal shower venue and wanted to have it in early May. From my sources, my bridal party and this bridesmaid knew that my shower was the 1st of June. I expressed to her, while she and her mother were still fiddling the date, that the weekend of my shower would be tiresome on our friends to travel to two showers. Not to mention my shower and her shower are in 2 different states! But, she booked her bridal shower one day before mine.
Naturally, I was upset with her because our friends on the guest list are the same and that would be too much traveling. As a dutiful bridesmaid, I told her I would be there for her event. However, her current history has shown she rarely contacts me, and the sporadic plans we make to see each other, she breaks them. I am believer that history or recent history is a predictor of how people will be towards you when you need their help. I have tried contacting her, but she has not responded to my phone calls. My fiance` has suggested that if she decides to bail on my day because her family is in town or she has some reason she cannot make my shower, I should propose our schedules are too overwhelmed with our own wedding planning that coming as guests would be less of a burden. I cannot guarentee she will be there for me on my shower, how can I safely assume that her actions will not effect my guest list? I would love my friends to be there and I’m afraid its giving off an air of competition with the demands we put on them. Am I just being too paranoid?