Post # 1
So, my wedding is exactly 3 months away. I’m going around and making sure all the bridesmaids are okay and if they need help getting anything else for the day of the wedding. I currently have 7 bridesmaids that have all said “Yes!” to being bridesmaids about a year ago. One of them is a friend that was my best friend in high school but we drifted apart a lot afterwards. She still played a big part of my life and I wanted her to be apart of this day. She had said yes a year ago, with enthusiasm. But I can’t get ahold of her for anything about the wedding. I’ve still yet to talk to her about the dress requirements (any shade of gold, sequined dress of her choice), how the day of will go, the upcoming couple’s shower (in a few weeks), etc. I have even asked her if she still wanted to be a bridesmaid and nothing..all I get back are “Read” text receipts and see her post on Facebook. So, I feel like I’m purposefully being ignored and I don’t know what to do at this point. I love her to death, but with being this close to the wedding, I do need solid plans. Any advice?
Post # 2
It is very bad form for her to treat you this way. I would text one more time saying since you haven’t heard from her, you hate to do it but you are going to consider her no longer a bridesmaid, just a guest.
If she cares, she will get back to you. I assume you know she is actually getting your messages? NOt just her phone?
Post # 3
It doesn’t sound like she wants to be a bridesmaid. Maybe she has other personal things going on, financial issues. Will this wedding/other events require her to travel?
Have you seen her or spoken with her about anything other than your wedding? Perhaps she feels that all you care about is yourself and your wedding as you don’t mention anything about her.
A bridesmaid is only required to show up at the wedding. Everything else is extra and not necessary, but you “expect” it.
I would reach out and ask how she is doing. Ask if you can meet her and hang out. I would let her know that you’d love for her to be there to celebrate and would love if she would come as a guest.
Post # 4
ohheytherejess : hm, definitely odd. Have you tried reaching out to her without making it about your wedding? “Hey friend…haven’t heard from you in awhile. I hope you’re doing okay, let’s catch up soon!” Otherwise I’d text her the dress requirements and then let it go. If she shows up at the ceremony in the dress, she can stand up with you (because attendance at the couples shower, etc. is not mandatory), if not, she doesn’t stand up with you.
Post # 5
I would reach out to her one more time and say if you don’t hear back you are going to assume she no longer wants to be a part of the wedding. Don’t be nasty about it, give her an easy out and say that you understand if she just wants to attend as a guest and no hard feelings.
Post # 6
Ah this is so disheartening! Have you tried calling? Some people aren’t texting people especially if they’re having problems behind the scenes… try to call and organise a catch up to talk in person?
Post # 7
ohheytherejess : How very strange. I would try to actually speak to her on the phone or meet up in person. A lot can be lost in translation with texting and FB messages. Try calling and/or send a message asking to catch up. You may talk and everything will work out. If she won’t talk to you or see you and you’ve tried and tried I would tell her that the bridesmaid situation is not working out, that perhaps she has too much going on but she is more than welcome to come as a guest and join the wedding fun. Hope it turns out ok.