Post # 1
Hey bees! I have a question! I have sent out emails to all of my bridesmaids – 2, one 6 and a half weeks ago, one 8 days ago, and I haven’t heard anything from anyone. I texted them four days ago asking them to respond and look over the emails and I have recieved nothing. At what point do I say okay you’re out?
My first email had an overview, then me low-key asking what they thought, but not asking them any questions. My next email asked them a few questions and asked them to respond.
How do I get my bridesmaids to talk to me? Should I leave it up to the Maid/Matron of Honor or cut people myself? When do you cut people who don’t respond?
Post # 2
Could you give them a call?
Post # 3
mus1ca1xo: just what I was thinking!
Post # 4
SoontobeF: what exactly are you emailing them about?
Post # 5
I would maybe send them a txt or call them to say hey what’s up? and then causally go into, “Did you ever get my email? I wanted to make sure you recieved it, I was having some email issues.
Post # 6
Have you not seen any of your bridesmaids in person in 6 and a half weeks?
Post # 7
Sounds like you’re making things a lot more complicated than you need to. Just call them up and say “Hey Suzie, what did you think of the dress styles?” Problem solved! Surely whatever questions you have for them can’t be so complex that you need a paper trail.
PS: You ask: “Should I leave it up to the Maid/Matron of Honor or cut people myself?” I think you really need to reset your expectations. Your MoH is not the manager of your bridesmaids. She’s not their boss. If you have some sort of issue with a bridesmaid, that’s between you and the bridesmaid, and it’s none of your MoH’s business. Not that anything in this post would indicate any sort of actual issue, mind you. But going forward, I think you need to be a little more realistic in what bridesmaids and MoH’s are there for. Make sure you are making only reasonable requests of them.
Post # 8
What sort of response were you hoping for? I agree that it is strange that NONE of them have replied. Was it stuff that you *need* a response about (like things involving arrangements or money) or more a general ‘what do you think about my plans’ kind of tone? When you say ‘ask them to respond’, how did you word it? Finally… are you sure the e-mails actually arrived? It does seem very strange.
Post # 9
I’m equally confused. What are you mass-emailing them? I’ve never received an email from any bride. I barely receive emails from anyone except work clients in the first place. Are you sure you sent it to the right place? My friends probably still have my high school email, which was probably like angel_xoxo_panda6382 or something, and I certainly don’t use that anymore!
Why cant you just call/text them or see them in person? Who cuts people for not checking their email? I have so many questions.
Post # 10
“My BMs didnt reply to my email….should I cut them out of the wedding?”
That escalated fast! is there more going on here than the email thing? I would definitely call them individually before taking the nuclear option of removing them from the wedding party! Unless there’s something else going on you didnt mention.
Post # 11
We need more information. If you’re emailing them asking for their opinions on wedding stuff (not Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses), they’re probably put off by the fact that you’re asking them to help you plan your wedding which is not their job.
Post # 12
panda1016: I use email to contact my bridesmaids. None of us live in the same area, nor do they know each other. And we all check email everyday. I don’t think it’s odd to use this kind of communication. I do think it’s odd for cutting people out for not responding to an email… that’s odd. Honestly, my bridesmaids are all really busy working moms with a million things going on, so it helps to have things written down for them to refer to later. Calling or texting puts them on the spot while they have a kid in one hand and client in the other. For us, we figured out early on that this was the easiest way to communicate.
I do keep emaills to parts of the wedding that revolve around them, like dresses, hair/makeup, how they feel about sitting at a head table, and babysitting. When it’s not an email about them, it’s usually some funny quote or clips from bridesmaids, or you tubes of grannies dancing. In otherwords, I keep it light. We circulate emails like this anyways, not related to anything but just to add some humor to the day.
Post # 13
I should have been more clear.
Yes, I have seen, spoken called and/or texted to all and all have gotten back to me except for one (who is in school, and therefore doesn’t have much time.) But no one has gotten back to me about this. A couple say they will get back to me about it later, and the rest just don’t respond to my texts about this.
I am not asking them to plan my wedding. I am however asking them what they think of the syle of dresses or their bridesmaids dresses and shoes, and what kind of jewelry they like (gold or silver), whether or ot they want their hair or make up done, and about money.
I overescalated, sorry about that. I am just not really sure what to do.
But I never said that my Maid/Matron of Honor was my boss… but the Maid/Matron of Honor seems to be a recurring person in charge of bridesmaids in the other threads I have read. That’s where I got that idea from/
Its frustrating because I sent an email to the groomsmen on sunday (3 days ago) and all have gotten back to me except for one.
All the emails are the emails they sent me to use when I asked for an email. If you didn’t email your bridesmaids, how did you communicate with them?
Post # 14
I don’t want to cut anyone from the wedding. I just want my bridesmaids to tell me they saw and read my attempts to communicate and know what’s going on. And I don’t really know what to do when they don’t do that.
Post # 15
Are they all on Facebook. That is what worked best for me. I created a private facebook group for my bridemaids and then my Maid/Matron of Honor created one for just me and her. It worked perfectly!