(Closed) Bridesmaid Issues

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
924 posts
Busy bee

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Kannon:  same here. None of mine live in my area (the nearest one is about an hour away, but we see each other MAYBE once a month, and that’s pushing it) so we will either email, text, or group message. Possibly do group calls or something, but in general it would be messages. For example, its so easy for people to say “just call!” But guess what? I’m not allowed to use my phone at work… but I have a computer and I can email all day long. So if I find something I like and need opinions on, I’m going to email it so I can get an opinion back. Otherwise if I just said “ok” then I’d be looked down on for not giving them any say. 

And I don’t think its a matter of escalating quickly. It’s a simple process. You ask someone to be in the wedding. They say yes. You send them messages, emails, texts, calls, whatever to say “hey I like this. What do you think?” or “I’m doing this…. or this or this….” and if they can’t respond, an don’t, how do you know that suddenly they will be on board? What if you need to change the time? location? date? and if they aren’t responding and you change all that anyway, how do you still know they can do it? 

Post # 17
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I have similar issues communicating with my bridesmaids. I usually get a better response when I text them individually. I know it’s way less convenient for us, but I do seem to get more responses that way. Group messages and emails don’t bother me a bit, but I know not everyone is a fan!

Post # 18
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

OP, I think you need to really slow your roll. It’s really hard for people to give you any feedback about hair and makeup 10 months away (based on the wedding date showing in your post). You’re caught up in the excitement and wanting to charge full steam ahead, but your friends are a lot less emotionally invested, and probably don’t have many strong feelings over their hairdo for this weekend, let alone in February.

Call each one of them up and talk to them about realistic budgeting for the dresses (and whatever figure they give you, cut it in half, ’cause everyone over-commits on the budget because they want to make the bride happy), likes and dislikes in the world of fashion, and then relax. There is plenty of time to talk about hairdos.

Post # 19
1768 posts
Buzzing bee

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SoontobeF: 1. They already said they’ll get back to you so relax.

2. If you’ve seen them in person and spoken to them on the phone, then why haven’t you taken that opportunity to just ask them? “What did you think about…?”

Post # 20
221 posts
Helper bee

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SoontobeF:  My concern would be, why aren’t they replying to you’re messages. I would say give it a couple of weeks, or hand it over to your Maid/Matron of Honor. But if they want to ignore your messages maybe it’s time to just say they’re out? My cousin was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my wedding but she was very disorganized and never paid for the dress so I gave her the boot (for lack of better words)

Post # 21
86 posts
Worker bee

Sounds like you’re treating them like they are interviewing for a job or something. People have lives that don’t revolve around you and your wedding. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by carrotqueen.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid Issues’ is closed to new replies.

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