Post # 1
I don’t want to sound like I’m a totally horrible Bridezilla, but I think I’m having a moment. Yesterday I found out that one of my bridesmaids, unexpectedly became pregnant. Now my gut reaction was not joy. The situation is that the bridesmaids dresses just came in this past week. No one has even picked them up yet. The dress is not something that is going to look good on a pregnant woman, it’s just not. My wedding is in October so there is no way that she’ll be able to alter it for a bit of room to accomodate her growing belly. She’ll be about six months pregant by then. I mean, it was a bit tight to begin with. I don’t want her to look like a sausage on the day of my wedding. Call me selfish, but it’s my day and I don’t want to have to worry about her being comfortable. How do I discuss this with her without hurting her feelings or coming off as a crazed bridzilla? Anyone else have an unexpectedly pregnant bridesmaid?
Post # 3
i would just tell her you’re worried about the dress fitting and see if she has any ideas. Try to treat the situation like you are both bridesmaids in someone else’s wedding, and not yours, so you can maintain some perspective.
don’t focus on how she will look, but rather her level of comfort. who knows? she may not even want to be your bridesmaid now. Personally, if I knew I was going to be six months pregnant, I wouldn’t be up for bacherlorette parties.
Post # 4
Well could you tell her to pick a maternity dress that fits with the colors of your wedding.
It’s hard to tell how much she will show (belly wise) at the wedding.
The question is: what matters more for you? To have her there as a bridesmaid even if she doesn’t match perfectly with everyone else? Or to have a matching group of bridesmaid and make sure she doesn’t risk being uncomfortable.
If you can offer her various options it might make your conversation easier. Be like: "I’m really excited for you, but I do have a question, you are supposed to be a bridesmaid at my wedding, how do you feel about what it means you’ll have to do and do you think you’ll be able to handle it given the pregnancy, etc…"
Post # 5
First, congratulations on getting married! Second, remember that the reason you asked your friend to be in your wedding is that you love her and she is special to you. Your friend is going through a pretty big, possibly scary, unplanned, life-changing event, and she needs your support as much as you need hers for your wedding. Unfortunatley for you, this means that something is going to have to change, be it the style of the dress, or the woman who wears it. Consider allowing her to wear a coordinating dress in the same color or fabric in a different style. I know it is not the same, and it is not what you want, but a lot of weddings nowdays have the bridesmaids wear different style dresses of the same fabric. Or, you may have to ask that she not be in the wedding and find someone else to take her place. Maybe you can find another way to include her in the wedding. I think for the sake of your friendship, it is better to find a different dress. Whatever you do, try to make sure you do it with love and compassion and hopefully you will get that in return. Good Luck!
Post # 6
Remember, one of the big reasons to get married is to have babies! So don’t make her feel bad, babies trump weddings.
I would work on a different dress. At 6 months she should be feeling pretty good. Especially if this is her first baby. She is past the morning sickness, and just starting into the 3rd trimester where it gets uncomfortable. Around that stage I had a lot of energy, and excitement.
I would let her pick out a dress that could strech as she grows. (noone can tell now how big she will be then) that coordinates with the rest of the bridesmaids. Express your worries about her being uncomfortable, and tell her if there is any thing you could do to help her to just let you know. she may want to sit during the ceremony instead of stand the whole time. No big deal.
Also remember she may need different shoes than everyone else!