(Closed) Bridesmaid issues, oy vey!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2634 posts
Sugar bee

From what you’ve posted it doesn’t SEEM like she assumes she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Maybe she just *really* likes weddings and likes to talk about them with people. 

Now as far as probably not inviting her due to budget contraints, I’d tell her just that.  “Because our budget is so small, we’re only inviting family.  I wish we could invite everyone, but it’s just not possible” and leave it at that.

Post # 5
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

How did she get it in her head? That really sucks though, I guess talk to her as though she were and tell her that with the budget you’ve got and it seems like she got so much going on in her own life that you don’t want to stress her or anything like.

Or you can out rightly tell her that she is not a bridesmaid and you are so sorry if you ever said anything to confuse her. 

Post # 6
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I wouldn’t beat around the bush – the next time she starts talking wedding with you, I would tell her that you’re keeping the wedding small/family only for budgetary reasons, and therefore you’re sorry you can’t make her a bridesmaid and sorry if you led her to believe she was (even though you’re not really “sorry,” it may soften the blow). No sense in letting her continue to think she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man and then be REALLY disappointed/upset after she’s chosen her dream Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and all.

Post # 7
29 posts
  • Wedding: June 2007

Yeah, I tend to blab wedding advice to engaged acquaintances who don’t necessarily ask for it. Maybe she just likes to talk weddings? Has she said anything specifically about being a bridesmaid? Because then it could get tricky …

Post # 8
2641 posts
Sugar bee

It sucks being in this position, but you know what you have to si.  (I mean you’re not planning on really just having her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, right?)

I think you could approach it as, “Gee, I would have loved to have had larger reception, and bridal party, but I just can’t afford it.  So we can only invite close family to the wedding.”

Also, do you think she’s a bit clingy?  Does she maybe not have many friends?  Not that it really matters.  But it’s strange that you barely feel like she’s an acquaintance and she thinks she’s a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  That’s a wide gap.

Post # 10
28 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think that sounds good and although it might make you feel uncomfortable/horrible at least it’s online and not face to face. It would be a lot harder if you see her all the time. I find it odd she’s took it upon herself to even think she is a bridesmaid without formally being asked. She’s probably just got carried away with the whole wedding thing! I love weddings and could talk about them all day non stop, lol…. Good luck!

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