Post # 1
So…I have 8 bridesmaids…and, of course, ALL of them are VERY different from one another! Because of this reason, there are a few things that I worry about when it comes to certain aspects of the wedding, so I thought I would get your opinions.
One of my Maid/Matron of Honor is very tall (5’8″) and REFUSES to wear any shoe above a 2″ heel, which she still says is a bit tall. However, my older sister, a Bridesmaid or Best Man, is 4 feet and LIVES in heels. We’re not talking the 2″ kind, but more like the 4″ kind! The others, I’m sure, would probably like to stick to something on the shorter side like 2-2 and a half inches. Being the perfectionist that I am mixed with a little Bridezilla, I want all their shoes to be uniform. I am having SUCH trouble finding a cheap enough shoe that has a 2 inch heel! I am also worried about how my sister will take it if she can’t have her 4 inches…this is the look that I am going for…(yes, it’s a rainbow themed wedding)
I want to DIY the bows and rhinestones on all the shoes, so basically I just need plain white pumps. Sounds easy enough to find, right? WRONG! I haven’t been able to find any heel that’s smaller than 2 and a half inches and affordable! Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Now, on to my other dilemma in the comment box in case this gets too long…:-)
Post # 3
The second concern:
I have two Matrons of Honor: one (we’ll call her E) has been my best friend for over 14 years, since middle school and I love her to pieces! The other (we’ll call her A) has been a great friend of mine for about 6 years and we’ve recently grown much closer ever since she moved back to the Bay Area and I also love her to pieces!
Now, there was a period of time last year where E and I became incredibly distant from one another because she became super busy and also seemed to make every excuse in the book NOT to see me or spend time with me, even if it was for five minutes. She and I exchanged several words within a three month time period that put a strain on our relationship. Seeing as I’m a woman, I would vent our issues to A, who is the complete OPPOSITE of E, and tell her how unreasonable I felt E was being about several things that went on between us. Needless to say, A quickly became a non-fan of E and told me that she didn’t quite understand how she and I could be friends for so long when even E and I are pretty opposite people.
When I told A that E was going to be a Matron of Honor as well, she understood why considering we had patched things up between us and she has been my bestie for so long, but she made it very clear that she probably would never really like her and would say something to her if she tried to pull stuff with her that she’s pulled with me (I am much more laid back than A is). I want them BOTH to be a big part of my wedding planning experiences and am a little worried about how they will get along. E doesn’t know anything about A because I’ve never had anything bad to say about A, but I still worry that their personalities will clash. As for the BMs, both MOHs know 6 out of the 8, and the other 2 are such sweethearts (stepsister and FSIL) that I am not worried about them being able to get along.
I have many DIYs planned for the wedding, and naturally, they will probably both want to help. Probably on several occasions, they will have to interact with each other, including planning my bachelorette shower (I don’t want a shower and a party, just one will suffice). My question is, how should I handle it? Just let them both know that I want them to be a part of the shower planning experience and let them figure out who’s doing what or should I be more dictator-like and just choose who does what?
Personally, I’d rather let them decide because I don’t want to be a Bridezilla. But it still worries me that A will probably see E on a regular basis for a year and I would hate for any drama to ensue because E has to say something that irritates A.
Any suggestions or anyone else in a similar boat? Thanks for reading this long post! Hopefully I didn’t bore y’all!
Post # 4
My advice: let them wear shoes they are comfortable in. Such a small thing that you are way over thinking. They can find similar shoes in whatever heel they feel comfortable in since you’re going to decorate them.
Stop gossiping about your friends & then other people will like them.
Post # 5
I don’t know how much you’re willing to spend on the shoes, but BespokeBigDay.co.uk make their shoes in all different heel heights! I ordered mine from them (model called Kitty). I haven’t received them yet though, so can’t give them a review, but they look very good on the webpage.
Post # 6
1. I would let them choose their own shoes. Problem solved.
2. They are adults. Don’t worry about something that hasn’t even happened. They can act mature and get along with each other. Don’t feed into any drama by talking about the others. Since they are the MOHs, they should probably be the ones deciding what to do for showers- not the bride.
Post # 7
Regarding the shoe issue….let your controlling/Bridezilla side go. Why make either of your BMs feel uncomfortable? It’s not hard to find similar white shoes with differing heel lengths.
Post # 8
On the shoes: You should adhere to your bridesmaids’ comfort levels. Some people like huge heels. Some people like flats. I know you said you are OCD about your bridesmaids’ looks, but some people are suuuuuper uncomfortable in heels (or in flats) and if you know your different friends have different shoe preferences, you should allow them to choose their own.
On the friends: These are both grown women who should be able to put aside their differences, and be your bridesmaids. I would stay out of it.
Post # 9
As a girl who’s 5’11”, I feel your Bridesmaid or Best Man on wanting to wear shorter heels.
Could you get pumps in all different heel heights and then still bedazzle and decorate them like that? If they are all decorate the same way, the different heel heights won’t be as noticeable.
Post # 10
Regarding the shoes — please let them wear their own choice of shoes. Nothing is worse than someone forcing you to wear shoes that you are uncomfortable in. It could make the day so miserable for people. Forget the heel height — many people need different widths, toe types, strappy/non strappy, etc. Agree with PP that you should let your Bridezilla side go on this — absolutely NO ONE will know or care what kind of shoes the bridesmaids wear.
I’m actually looking at a picture of my bridesmaids I have in my cube. All 8 are wearing different types of shoes…I honestly cannot even tell from the photo.
Post # 11
I would get the girls to go out and purchase inexpensive pumps I don’t think colour matters because you are just covering them up with rhinstones and then all get together and make a girls night of DIY’ng shoes.
Post # 12
Im thinking at this point, you all make a valid argument that shoes are not a very big deal and I should probably focus on more important things 🙂 I may have to let this shoe obsession go as long as they stay relatively within the same style 🙂
As for “gossiping” about my friend, it was never to make fun of her or anything. Any venting I did ws usually to get advice on the situation, not out of malice. I just wanted to make that clear 🙂 and I’m sure the girls will be just fine. I’ve pretty much already decided that if they don’t end up being able to get along, I’ll have my mother talk to them. She puts the “fear of God” into any of my friends, simply because she’s like their 2nd mother and everybody knows don’t piss off mama 🙂