- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Okay, first, I am a regular poster gone anonymous here. Second, I want you guys to know that I am pretty much the opposite of a bridezilla. I am only a few months away from my wedding, and I have been (and hope to remain) super laid back. I understand things go wrong and that in the end, everything will work out perfectly…or somewhere close.
But…here it comes…my one Bridesmaid is starting to worry me. I don’t want to give too many details just in case she would somehow, someway come across this. Here goes…
I was her Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding about a year or so ago. I was honored and proud to do the job…but it felt strange because we have not been super close since we went away to seperate colleges. And it really felt like just a title, she did not include me in any part of the wedding process except for picking out the bridesmaid dress.
Anyways, so when I got engaged, it didn’t feel right to have her as my Maid/Matron of Honor because, again, we have not been close since we graduated high school, she is married and has other obligations, and is not the most reliable person in the world (she is a sweetheart, but think Luna Lovegood). So I chose someone else, which may or may not be the reason why I am having problems now.
So, my original plan was to make her feel special by only taking her to do the bridesmaid dress shopping. I feltl a little guilty about not picking her as Maid/Matron of Honor, so I wanted to do this for her. I sent her a text a while ago about possibly going dress shopping and asked what day she would be free. She didn’t respond for a week and when she did respond she didn’t give me specific dates, just days of the week she might would be free. Her delayed response kinda put a bad taste in my mouth, so I nixed the idea of just her and I going.
Fast forward a few weeks, I sent out a text to my bridesmaids a few weeks in advance that I wanted to go dress shopping soon, would a set date work for them? Everyone responded immediately except for her. A week went by and I finally sent her a message on facebook, and she said she could go and that she was sorry she had not responded earlier. Okay, fine.
A few weeks later, I sent out another text of what time we could meet on the day they all agreed they could go. And she tells me she most likely won’t be able to go now because of a problem she is having (again, I don’t want to be specific, but it is not life-threatening or concerning her health or the health of anyone around her….thus it could probably be rescheduled or another solution could be found). She did mention, however, that the problem was going to be expensive to fix. I thinks its odd she would mention money. Again, she said sorry and that she feels bad about it, but didn’t offer any solutions to the problem, which means she is not going to come.
Okay, so the thing is, I know this doesn’t sound that bad at all. And I know it isn’t. However, it is more the feeling I am getting from her avoiding the dress shopping thing. I can’t decide if she is…
a. upset I didn’t choose her as Maid/Matron of Honor
b. not feeling the wedding thing/ doesn’t want to be involved/ doesn’t feel close to me anymore/ doesn’t feel like she can afford to be in the wedding…etc
c. is avoiding the dress shopping due to her own body insecurities (she is a beautiful girl, but she has gained some weight the past few years thanks to being in a comfortable relationship…we all know what thats like!)
d. she is just being her typical self (somewhat aloof and not exactly reliable) and doesn’t realize antthing is wrong at all.
So I suppose the point of this post is to ask for advice. She has now avoided the dress shopping thing 3 times, which really is 3 times too many. Do I just let it go and take the maids that seem into it? Do I confront her about it, see if there is anything else going on that I should know about? And if I do confront her, what do I even say?! I am not good with confrontation!! How have you ladies dealt with maids that just don’t seem into the whold wedding thing, even though they were excited when you asked them to be in the wedding in the first place?!