- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
So I’m new to the boards and am having some drama so this post is a vent and an ask for advce.
I got engaged to Mr Skippy Peanut Butter in February and picking our Bridal Party was pretty easy. We have the couple that introduced us – Mr and Mrs Magic, the couple who we go on double dates with – Mr and Mrs Movies, Mr Skippys little sister whom we’ll call Sister Skippy, Skippys older cousin Mr Real Estate, my best friend Ms Dancer, my old roomate, Ms Bestie Roomie, Mr Skippys Best friend Mr Gamer and Mr Skippys other best friend Mr Oreo and Mini Miss Movies is a junior bridesmaid.
For the most part it has been pretty drama free with the exception of Mrs Magic who I adore and who introduced Mr Skippy and I and who insists on creating drama.
I talked to all the BM’s and made plans for them to go wedding dress shopping with me and look at bridesmaids dresses at the same time making sure that it was a time and date that would work for everyone. I had it planned a month in advance not because I needed that many people dress shopping with me but because they all kept asking me when I was going and if they could come becasue they wanted to. So I did my best to make it happen. A week before hand Mrs Magic says she doesnt think I can make it. I vented to a mutual friend who is also an usher and he took it upon himself to talk to her without my knowledge explaining that it hurt me that I went through all the trouble to set it up and that since she was one of the girls most insistent on going that she should go. So the day of she calls me for the address and tells me shes on her way.
At this point Mr Skippy and I have decided on a wedding free of children under 12. This means that Mr and Mrs Movies 12 year old daughter is invited but their 2 year old daughter is not and they are totally not just fine but ecstatic for a night without their toddler. But this also means Mr and Mrs Magic daughter who will be 1 at the time of the wedding is not invited, something which they said they were totally fine with. Mr and Mrs Magic’s daughter is also Mr Skippys god-daughter.
So at the salon while I’m trying on dresses in front of all the others gals and my mom, Mrs Magic starts talking about how not only should her daughter be an exception to the no childen under 12 rule becasue shes Mr Skippy’s god-daughter but she should really be our flower girl for the same reason and how cute would she look in a fluffy white dress. I told her I’m sorry but we are firm on not having super young children at the wedding especially since there are literally 3 under 21ers and if we included under 12ers we’d have an addition 45 guests and there are no discounts for kids meals with our caterer. What I found out later is that while I was trying on the next dress she badmouthed this decision to the other bridesmaids until my Maid/Matron of Honor Mrs Movies steped up and explained my reasoning again telling her to please drop the subject.
I’ve talked to Mr Skippy about this and while he adores his god daughter he feels like having her at or in the wedding is not a good idea. As he put it it wouldnt benefit her because she wont remember it or care and it wouldnt benefit us becasue she cant walk and very well may scream or cry or otherwise be disruptive during the ceremony. So he and I are on the same page here but it bothers me that first she badgered me into making sure she could go dress shoppping with me, then decideds shes noy going shopping with me, then decides she is, then insists her daughter should be in the wedding party and then badmouths my and Mr Skippys decision about not having her in the wedding party.
So thats the venting part, this all happened in late september so nothing much to do about it now but Mr Skippy and I just recently decided we want Mini Miss Movies, my MOH’s 12 year old daughter to be a junior bridesmaid and I havent told Mrs Magic about this yet and am honestly avoiding the topic because I think it is going to end up being a huge issue and I dont want that. But we decided to have her as a junior bridesmaid because shes 12, shes a total sweetheart and I adore her, shes incredibly well behaved, shes spent hours helping her mom and I put together the centerpieces and is always asking how she can help and with both her parents in the wedding it would be nice for her to be able to sit with them at the wedding even though its a head table so it’d be with the rest of the bridal party as well.
How do I bring this up with Mrs Magic without her throwing a fit that Mini Miss Movies is in the wedding and her daughter is not?
Mr Skippy and I also celebrated our 2nd anaversary of our 1st date in October and Mrs Magic actually got annoyed with me for not going to her halloween party so that Mr Skippy and I could celebrate with a nice dinner out because she introduced us at her halloween party two years ago. I mean, maybe its just me but I personally feel that just because we met at her halloween party does not obligate us to celebrate our anaversary at her halloween party every year for the rest of our lives right?
How do I get this bridesmaid to stop making everything about her and her family? I know this is her first child and I’m not saying everything has to be about me and the wedding but everytime I talk to her I of course ask how she is, how Mr Magic is and how their daughter is but she never asks me how the wedding plans are coming and changes the subject the first chance she gets if I bring up anything wedding related or even school related thats about me (Im in school for my masters as is Mr Skippy).
In addition, I feel a tad miffed that she asks my future husband to be her daughters god-father after we were engaged but never asked me to be the god-mother. I realize thats an incredibly personal thing but since Mr SKippy is their chosen care giver for Mini Miss Magic I feel like I should have been a part of that conversation, and Mr Skippy was great in making sure I was comfortable with it before saying yes but I feel like they should have asked me if I was okay with it as well even if they didnt ask me to be god mother.
Ugh. Any advice bees???