(Closed) Bridesmaid just informed me that she is getting married on the same day

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow; Seriously? She would feel sick to her stomach about doing it if she was my Bridesmaid or Best Man because I’d probably deck her. lol Sorry but honestly. That’s just wrong. I guess like stated above; you learned the type of person she is. I don’t care what excuse she had about the dates; there’s always another date. There’s always a better way than that. Sheesh.

Post # 63
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Well I guess I decked this thread too.. lol I hate being the last one….hahe

Post # 64
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That really sucks! And please, I think she might be fibbing about her venue not being available other days. Get those STD cards out!

Post # 65
Member
5385 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am sorry this happened. I would get the save the dates out and not worry about her anymore. I am in a wedding this year and I made sure to pick a date that was either way before or after.

Post # 66
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I’ll probably get flamed for this… but I don’t think this is the absolute worse thing in the world. Does it really suck? Yes. Do you have every right to be upset? Yes.  Is it worth losing a friendship over? Not so sure.

Granted I don’t know her or you, but from what you’ve said it sounds like she feels really bad about doing it.  Maybe there’s more to the situation than we know.  Maybe she knew the engagment was coming and had been planning which is why she had a venue picked out so quickly.  I know I had a venue and date even before being officially engaged.  Maybe there is a reason she doesn’t want to wait… I would not want to wait a year and risk my grandmother not being around to see me get married.  The good thing is there are no family and friends who are being forced to choose, is it possible she intentionally didn’t invite mutual friends in an effort to make the situation better? 

Also, with all the references to Bride Wars… did anyone not watch the end of the movie when they realize how ridiculous and petty they were being?

From your posts it sounds like you are handling it in a classy manner.  You are completely justified in being upset, I just don’t agree with some of the harshness in the responses to your post.

 

 

Post # 67
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@MissDoodles;

While I understand your justification for this girl; if she had been thinking her engagement was coming up & wanted to get married around the same time; she shoudn’t have accepted the position as a bridesmaid. It would be different if she was a friend not involved in the wedding. But she commited to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man so I think it makes it a little worse. This thread is all about opinions & for my opinion; that would equal the end of a friendship. The “only Date available” would not be enough of a reason for me. There are always Fridays and Sundays as well. I expect my friends to treat me the way I treat them; & I would never do that to a friend. JMO

Post # 68
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I try not to be judgmental and want to believe the best about people, but I just don’t buy that that was the only date available at the venue. And even if it was, what kind of a friend would do this? Seriously – this venue is SO important that it trumps keeping her commitment to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, being at your wedding at all, and you being at her wedding, and putting guests in an awkward position of having to choose? Seriously?

I’d love to see the venue so perfect that t would justify that decision.

I’m so frustrated on your behalf – you’re handling it a lot better than I would!!!

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