(Closed) Bridesmaid keeps flirting with FI-rant

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would definitely chalk up her behavior to age and immaturity. still, you should talk to her about how she’s coming across. don’t be accusatory (you’re flirting with my fi!), but tell her that sometimes her actions and words don’t come across very well. she needs to be more aware of what she says and does, and how her actions can affect others. also, people won’t ever take her seriously if she just flirts with everyone.

Post # 4
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ok Tessica, take a deep breath.   Remember, your fiancee loves you, not this little girl.      Think about all of the qualities your fiancee loves about you.   Now think about how you acted when you were 18.   She’s just being a little girl.   Remember, your fiancee loves you because you’re a woman.

Post # 5
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

OK, can you give a little background? I’m wondering who this girl is…is she a relative of some sort? Just wondering if you guys were close before or if theres another reason she’s in the wedding.

Knowing me, i’d probably say something even if i did it in a semi-playful (but to the point) way. Something like “OK, you do realize thats MY fiance, right?”

She’s young..true. Still, I get your irriation since boundaries are boundaries. If SHE is going to act inappropriate though, that sort of opens things up to allow YOU to be a tad bit rude in return. Nothing over the top, just something to let her know her actions are making you uncomfortable.

Post # 8
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

If she is putting you down in front of your Fiance to make herself more attractive to him, she is not your friend. That’s not harmless, unintentional flirting. Trust me, she knows exactly what she’s doing and the, “Who me? Flirting? Oh we’re just having fun!” shtick is all an act.

Every friendship I’ve ever had with a girl like that has ended in ridiculous drama. Thankfully, high school was a long time ago and I no longer tolerate that kind of behavior in my adult friendships. I hope I’m not coming across as preachy, but I just don’t think you’re being overzealous and crazy. I think you’re having a normal reaction to someone who is acting like a triflin ho (in the words of Aubergold).

Post # 9
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@jayce:

“If she is putting you down in front of your Fiance to make herself more attractive to him, she is not your friend. That’s not harmless, unintentional flirting. Trust me, she knows exactly what she’s doing and the, “Who me? Flirting? Oh we’re just having fun!” shtick is all an act.”

I completely agree. Friends don’t cut friends down.

If you want to maintain your friendship with her, stop inviting her out to events/gatherings where your Fiance will be present. Just remove her from the ‘temptation’ entirely. If she asks why, tell her that you don’t appreciate the way she acts when toward you when she’s around him and that you don’t like her hanging off your partner. Because he is in fact that, your partner. Your future spouse, not just some random guy that she can ‘entice’ away from you.

I’m a terribly blunt person, with no qualms over speaking my mind. Were I in your situation the next time she put me down to make herself look better I would call her out on it, or if we were at my home I would tell her to leave. .

 

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